News and Stupid Commentary For Friday

Welcome to a Friday in the Realm.  It’s a shitty day outside, so come on in out of the shit storm, and clean up.  I’ve got some coffee to warm you up, or a bong hit to calm your ass down.  No judgments.

I am here in my office nestled between two stadiums in Seattle at 0400 hrs to bring you some content here.  It’s the only time of the day that it is quiet around here and I have time to squeeze some nonsense out for all you ungrateful turd blossoms.  Please, bring back Misha.  This is like punishment for my soul…

First the Headlines That Caught My Eye This Morning.

Item 1.  Sam Bankman-Fried found guilty on all seven criminal fraud counts

Item 2.  California woman trapped in Gaza sues U.S. officials over failure to evacuate U.S. citizens

Item 3.  Your Tax Dollars Pay For Millionaire Democrats’ Swanky D.C. Apartments

Item 4. Phillips trailing Williamson in new poll after campaign launch

Item 5. Jeff Bezos is leaving Seattle

, moving to Miami

Item 6. Trump vs. Biden: People dislike both with a passion, but who gets that vote?

Item 7. Infant Mortality Has Jumped in Four US States

Item 8. Oregon just dropped all graduation standards, failing all of its students in the name of ‘equity’

Item 9. Where is the true center of the Universe?

This Just In As I was Posting:

Hunter Biden Op-Ed: I fought to get sober. Political weaponization of my addiction hurts more than me.

Now For My Stupid Commentary On The Headlines:

I come before you to stand behind you to tell you something I know nothing about…

I have not read the articles associated with these headlines.  I’m probably going to screw it all up, and that’s what makes this kinda fun.  I may have heard bits and pieces of the story on the radio, or through osmosis.  (If you think you can provide better content here, then have at it)

RE: 1.  When I first heard people fawning over this guy and his crypto empire, my very first thought was that this guy was a scam, and that he was going to end up in prison.  Then, a year or so later, he is arrested, and going to trial.  When I heard he was going to take the stand, I knew that he was going to get convicted in a very short jury deliberation.  It only took a couple of hours.

RE: 2.  Okay, let’s play this out, and assume that she can get a court order from a US court to get her silly ass out of Gaza.  Who is going to enforce this order?  Hamas isn’t holding this woman.  She just can’t cross the border into Egypt or Jordan without THOSE country’s permission.  Israel isn’t letting anyone out into Israel.  She is in a WAR ZONE now, and it isn’t the responsibility of the US government to swoop in and take her silly ass out of harm’s way just because she made a bad decision and went there in the first place.  She’s just going to have to protect herself the best she can and wait until her name comes up on a list to get out.  Maybe use this time to reflect on the bad decisions she’s made in her life.

RE: 3.  Okay, I think I heard this story on NPR a while back.  Something about Congress voting in an annual $35k housing allowance in addition to a salary raise, Rolls Royce Medical and Dental, travel expenses, and endless other perks associated with being a Congresscritter.

It’s a fucking racket.  This isn’t a Left/Right issue.  I think we can all agree that this is bullshit.  All the people talking about ‘draining the swamp’ end up being the creatures in that swamp.   We need to fill in that swamp and relocate the seat of government to the middle of nowhere.  Death Valley comes to mind…

Okay, emotions aside, I find it amazing that a person can go into Congress with no money and within ten years be a multi-millionaire.

RE: 4.  A candidate would have to be really bad if Williamson is beating them.

RE: 5.  Jeff Bezos is moving?  Was it something we said? Does he need help packing?  Can he take Bill Gates and the fifteen other billionaires that literally infest the Seattle area with him?

We took pride in the fact that we had the two richest men in the world living here.  For years, it was cool that we had Boeing and Microsoft.  then Boeing merged with McDonnell Douglas and flew the coop to Chicago.  We didn’t care, we had Bill Gates, and Paul Allen, for fuck’s sake!  And they were spending money.  If it wasn’t for Paul Allen, I wouldn’t be sitting here nestled between two stadiums right now.  In spite of three separate elections where they were overwhelmingly turned down, Paul Allen pushed them through anyways, and stuck everyone with the bill.  That’s when we started to realize that these aren’t really benevolent billionaires.  They come with a rich price tag.

Over time, more and more billionaires started showing up.  I think Elon Musk has a joint around here somewhere in the San Juans.

RE: 6.  I’m holding on to the premise that neither one of them will be running in the general election.  There are a LOT of variables that can change between now and then.  Who knows, we could be fighting a holy war this time next year.

RE: 7.  Okay, lemme guess: All ‘red’ states.  Missouri?  Texas?  Alabama? Mississippi?  Pro-Life my ass.

RE: 8.  I can shorten that headline even further and it would still be 100 percent true:

Oregon has dropped all standards

I think the last thing Oregon let go of was the law that mandated that gas station attendants pump your gas.  I think murder is now legal in Oregon…

RE: 9. What I am about to say is irrefutable:

“The Center of the Whole Damn Universe™ is ME.”

Say that out loud a few times and you will see that it is true.

That’s it for the news and stupid commentary.

And now for some …

If I were running for president, this would be my slogan and theme song:

[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMAIsqvTh7g[/embedyt]

We already find ourselves in a circus.

DJ’s Unsolicited Advice on how to deal with the Hamas Tunnels:

Over the course of 3 days scientists pumped 10 tons of cement into an abandoned ant hill. After weeks of digging, the colony’s intricate & impressive structure is revealed. [From: Ants! Natures Secret Power]