Greetings, Loyal Citizens, we’ve decided to take time away from the orgies arranged by the past Roman Emperors in our dungeon (those guys really know how to party!) to surface and comment on things whilst trying to battle truly monumental hangovers.

We all witnessed how Governor DeSantis, being the good Christian that he is, granting the multi-millionaire denizens of Karen’s Vineyard their fondest wish by enriching them with the gift of diversity in the form of 50 Venezuelan illegal immigrants. Surely they’d be thrilled that they finally, being one of the whitest and therefore racist regions of our nation, were endowed with the strength and diversity of “brown people”, right? It’s not like they don’t virtue signal 24/7 about how much they support those things, right?

Oddly enough, those super tolerant and generous members of the ruling class didn’t spontaneously erupt into celebrations, they didn’t immediately lodge those poor and oppressed “dreamers” in some of their 60 bedroom mansions, instead they provided them with a Fruit Loops breakfast and called in the military to deport those horrid brown people to a Superfund site. You know, an actual camp, much like a certain Austrian would have done, all the while comparing Governor DeSantis to that very same Austrian, declaring his gift to the unbearably white community of Karen’s Vineyard the equivalent of the Holocaust. One local even went so far as to state that DeSantis sending those poor oppressed Venezuelans to his pristine neighborhood was the same as, and we’re not making this up, “taking your trash somewhere else and dumping it there.”

Did this super tolerant, embracing warrior for diversity really compare poor foreigners to trash? Why yes, yes he did. And Twatter immediately memory holed his tweet.

Not to worry, though, the Massachusetts Sonderkommandos, sorry, National Guard, wasted no time in removing the trash from his lawn and depositing it in a more suitable location where we’re sure they’ll be treated to the very best that Walmart has to offer until they can ship them off to a red state somewhere in the dead of night, which is, of course, completely different from what DeHitler did.

If that’s not hilarious, we don’t know what is. Even our old and admittedly somewhat mentally unstable friend Caligula almost choked on his wine laughing, stating that he’d never seen anything as blatant as this since he ordered his legions to gather seashells and declare victory over Neptune.

At least we’ve now learned that using the military to deport illegals is OK. After all, it’s what the libshits do, so it must be OK, right?

As to the war, we’re afraid we’re not able to muster as much of our usual “who cares?” as we normally do.

Granted, it was hugely encouraging to see Putin finally get a kick in the nads and we enjoyed it as much as anybody. But it’s also worrying because we do know quite a bit more about history than the imbeciles in charge. If this is all about putting the Russians on the back foot in order to force them to agree to a “status quo ante”, then that might be doable without horrid consequences, and we mean “second sunrise” in the middle of the night or day horrid, but the current mood in the idiot media doesn’t indicate as much. Zelenskiy, justifiably proud that Ukraine not only managed to stall the invaders but also drove them back, is now thumping his chest claiming that the goal is to not only drive the Russians out of the occupied territories, but to reclaim both the Donbass and, more troublingly, the Crimea.

It’s one thing to make the war costly enough that the Russians might be willing to negotiate, it’s quite another to start making claims to territories that are, both historically as well as currently considered proper Russian. Donbass, maybe, but the Crimea? Not happening. That would be akin to Zelenskiy declaring that he wanted to take “back” Belgorod, Kursk or even Moskva. It doesn’t matter what we in the West consider “fair”, what matters is how the Russian population sees it. As to Crimea, the only nation with a stronger claim to it than Russia would be Turkey, being somewhat the heirs of the Byzantine Empire.

The Crimea (and Lugansk and Donetzk, for that matter) was never Ukrainian until Stalin gave it to them to keep the Ukrainians from joining the “counterrevolution”, knowing full well that it didn’t matter one whit what “independent” republic those areas belonged to under the Soviet Union, since everything would be controlled by Moscow anyway.

This may seem irrelevant to us westerners, but we assure you that it isn’t to Russians. Ukraine taking “back” the Crimea would be the equivalent of Mexico going to war to take back Texas.

Why is this important? Well, for one Putin’s greatest problem, if there is one, it’s hard to trust any news sources these days, is the lack of enthusiasm for the Ukrainian “special operation” in Russia. We don’t know if this is true, all we have is a dozen YouTubers from Russia complaining (and somehow not being arrested by PutHitler) and the endless barrage of propaganda from our own media. But if there is a general dissatisfaction with Putin’s Ukrainian adventure in Russia, and the fact that he insists on calling it a “special operation” strongly suggests that there might be an issue there, all of that will go away if Ukraine suddenly decides to go a-conquering territories that are considered truly Russian by a majority of Russians.

We don’t have a problem imagining that rank and file Russians aren’t too terribly bothered by whether Dnepropetrovsk is Russian or Ukrainian, but change that city name to Sevastopol and it’s something completely different.

Bottom line: If the goals of Ukraine in this war expand beyond a “red line”, Putin’s issues with calling for general mobilization disappear overnight, and history shows us what Russia is capable of doing and enduring when they feel that they’re up against a wall. And they’ve got the largest nuclear arsenal in the world. You think they won’t use it, even if they’re faced with the potential utter defeat of Russia? Think again, because it’s in their military doctrine, in black and white. If Russia faces an existential threat, all bets are off and they will, will use any means at their disposal to fight back.

Sobering thought, isn’t it?

More worrying is that Russia has now amended the criminal code with provisions for mobilization, martial law and wartime, which they loudly proclaim is not at all a preparation for general mobilization, martial law and open declaration of war. Yeah right. All they need now is an excuse to pull the trigger, and an invasion of, say, the Crimea would do nicely.

TLDR: The best option for everybody right now is to push Russia to the point where “it’s not worth it” without forcing them into an existential conflict. This opens the possibility for negotiations, the results of which nobody will be happy with. The other option means an open war with Russia which, to be honest, we’re already in. If not de jure, then de facto. And that won’t end well for anybody, neither Russia nor the rest of the world. Russia is not going to meekly surrender and cease to exist as an independent, sovereign power without a fight. They never have in the past. Last time, and they’ve been invaded more times than just about any other nation in the world, they lost 20+ million of their own in order to win. And they did. They might not this time, we don’t personally think that they would, but is the price worth it? What, exactly, existential threat does Russia pose to us? They wanted to be our friends, even “PutHitler” offered to join NATO and was brushed off by then president Clinton as if the offer was a joke.

What we gave them was a “deal with it, not our problem” while they were trying to transition from a communist country to a democratic one, followed by an endless expansion of NATO eastwards, letting them know that everybody was welcome in the club EXCEPT for them. How on Earth were they supposed to interpret that? And then when Zelenskiy, this very year, proposed that Ukraine would not only join NATO but also become a nuclear armed nation again?

Remind us how JFK responded to the Soviet Union wanting to place nukes in Cuba again. We, for the record, agree with JFK’s response. How is this different? Explain it to us, please, and show your work or we’ll piss in your boots.

But it’s all Russia’s fault. We have to say that, or we’re a “Putin Puppet.”


UPDATE: Putin has now declared a “partial mobilization”, meaning calling up the reserves, some 300,000 of them, amounting to about 1% of their total resources. That’s mobilization. Mobilization doesn’t mean “compulsory service”, particularly not in a nation with a draft already, we grew up in one, it only means calling the reserves back into service, which is exactly what Russia has now done. Compulsory service would be the NEXT step, which would supply Russia with a further 29,700,000 soldiers.

But hey, this is fine, no problem, go Ukraine!

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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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