It never works.

As the economy continues to crater thanks to the media driven Zombie Apocalypse Panic (ably aided by the hair on fire chicken littles following the old dictum of “when in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout all over the dorkosphere), jobless claims go through the roof and our national debt makes a beeline for Weimar Germany thanks to the reckless printing of funny money, we can’t help but wonder in just what reality this hysteria makes sense.

So you’re faced with a crisis, even a, let’s cut the “run for the hills and build a bunker in the Alaskan tundra after you’ve bought all of the toilet paper in the world crowd” some slack, serious crisis like, say, WWII serious.

What do you do? Shut down everything?

It’s going to get flipping crowded out there in the Alaskan tundra, not to mention that people are pretty soon going to run out of caribou to eat.

“Mr. Churchill, the Luftwaffe has started an intensive bombing offensive against our airfields and factories!”

“Well, ramp up production of planes and make our pilots fly twice the patrols they used to.”


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, Mr. Churchill, that’s dangerous! They’re bombing our airfields and factories!”

“Oh. Yes. Well, you’re right, shut it all down then.”



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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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