…by scratching their crotches and smelling their fingers while their Pantifa buddies commit mass terrorist attacks against peaceful protesters.

This is our shocked face.

Listen, Portland “cops”, why don’t you just quit the pretense, put on a pussyhat, grab the nearest bike lock and go join your Pantifa friends?

If nothing else, you at least won’t be disgracing the uniform anymore.



P.S.: No, Portland terror symps, “ve vere juzt follovink orderz” is not a valid defense. Look it up. There are books out there with pictures in ’em that will explain it if you’re having trouble with polysyllabic words.

P.P.S.: Also, PPD, those lipsync challenges all the kids are doing on YouTube these days? Your department doing a rendition of Monty Python’s “Brave Sir Robin” would really be sort of appropriate now, wouldn’t it?

P.P.P.S.: Alright, we have to hand you this one: We never thought we’d see a bunch of uniforms fold faster than the French army in ’40. We were wrong.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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