President Obama on Monday slapped Russia with the kinds of economic sanctions not seen since the Cold War, but the administration’s supposed hard line was met with mockery and a “collective shrug” in Moscow, Kiev and Washington.
Ahem… Those “slapping economic sanctions not seen since the Cold War” turned out to be Barky announcing the freezing of U.S. assets belonging to seven (7) individual Russians, none of whom are named “Putin” or “Medvedev” and none of whom have any assets to freeze. But we’re sure that really, really showed them Russkies who’s boss.
“Comrade Obama, what should those who have neither accounts nor property abroad do? Have you not thought about it?” Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin said in a message on Twitter.
Rogozin was one of those “slapped” by the horribly, horribly severely severe “sanctions.” And seriously, Dmitriy, don’t you know that it’s “Comrade Petukh” and not “Obama?” You seriously ought to know. We’re disappointed. And laughing our Imperial Arse off.
“I think the decree of the President of the United States was written by some joker.”
“Decree?” Well played, Dmitriy, well played indeed. It’s just sad that we have to go to Russia to find somebody with the balls to describe Comrade Petukh’s every action since he slithered into Washington DC accurately.
But don’t get too haughty, you Russian fiend you! You may not have noticed yet, but you’ll soon find that Obama the Lightbringer, He of the Smart Diplomacy and Steely Gaze has defriended you on Facebook AND has hired a crack team of top men, Top. Men., to downvote every single comment you make on YouTube. So there! How do you feel NOW? Heck, if you’re not careful, he’s going to “slap” down another red line that he’ll later claim he was forced by others to “slap” down. “Later” meaning when it, too, blows up in his face and makes his comically large ears flap like an inflatable used car dealership doll.
Do not underestimate the power of the Farce! Here, for instance, is Comrade Obama schooling Putin on how to look strong:

Still, it’s preferable, vastly preferable, to having the inept, clueless, clown shoe retard getting us into war, because who would be C-in-C in such a war? Yeah, that’s right, and Sun Tzu he ain’t. He thinks “Sun Tzu” is a number 27 with beef, pork or chicken.
Idiot.
Thatisall.