There might be a tautology or a pleonasm hiding in that headline.

Sorry about the frequent absences, His Majesty has been a bit under the weather. That and bad news, but not to worry. We’re still here, it’s all good and it’ll be alright. Did we mention “don’t worry?” Yeah, we know how you are, and we love you for it, but seriously: don’t worry.

Still, we had to drag our sorry self to the keyboard when we, catching up on the news, found out that the Rove Wing of the RINO Party (more RINO than usual, which is saying a lot) took a huge hit when their Golden Boy for ’16, Krispy Kreme Kristie, took a harpoon straight to his voluminous gut.

Not so much fun when your staff is caught exacting revenge on the innocent people of a city whose mayor refused to endorse your gun-grabbing, Glowbull Wormening-endorsing, pro-amnesty for illegal immigrants arse, is it?

Of course, Krispy Knew NUFFINK’, I tells you, NUFFINK!

Gov. Chris Christie has responded Wednesday afternoon to email exchanges made public earlier in the day linking a top aide to the George Washington Bridge lane closure scandal that’s been under investigation.

“What I’ve seen today for the first time is unacceptable.

“For the first time, you know. I didn’t know until I read it in the newspapers. For the first time. The FIRST. TIME!”

Chris Schulzie

Isn’t it cute? It would seem that he and Comrade Zero weren’t just hugging during their post-tropical depression Sandy bromance session. One of them actually got pregnant. And we can’t be blamed for not noticing. What’s an extra dozen pounds on Krispy Kreme Kristie, after all?

I am outraged and deeply saddened to learn that not only was I misled by a member of my staff,

“Misled, I tells you, MISLED! About the thing that I didn’t know anything about until today when I heard about it FOR THE FIRST TIME!” We don’t know how that works. Being misled about something that you haven’t even heard about, but we’re sure there is a perfectly good explanation. For values of “perfectly good.”

But rest assured that Krispy the Klown is outraged, OUTRAGED he tells you! Nobody, NOBODY is more angry than he is!

At some point the Joisey Blimp really needs to start worrying about cribbing all of his boyfriend’s notes. He might get sued for copyright infringement.

but this completely inappropriate and unsanctioned conduct

“Did I mention that I had nothing to do with it and absolutely did NOT look the other way with a nudge and a wink? About this thing that I knew NUFFINK about until I read it in the newspapers today!”

was made without my knowledge.

“Just so you know. I knew NUFFINK! Until today. About the thing I was misled about earlier, before I knew it was even happening. The thing I had nothing to do with.”

Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

One thing is clear: this type of behavior is unacceptable and I will not tolerate it because the people of New Jersey deserve better. This behavior is not representative of me or my Administration in any way,

“Except it was perpetrated by people in my Administration. That I knew nothing about. Who misled me.”

and people will be held responsible for their actions,” the governor said in a statement.

“OTHER people, but I guarantee you that they’ll be held responsible. A lot. For this thing that I don’t know anything about and about which I was being misled by people in my Administration who are not representative of my Administration.”

It’d be a whole lot funnier if it hadn’t been for at least one person dying because of Krispy Kreme’s Stormtroopers petulant shenanigans.

UPDATE: LC Xystus notes in comments that it appears that the Death By Kristie story may be a bit… inaccurate. Needless to say, we believe our good LC, but if somebody could find a link to confirm, please feel free to do so. Either way, we hope and pray that it’s true, since a life is involved here.

Back to the drawing board, Karl. We do believe that your RINO Folly Flavor of ’16 is done for.



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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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