We know we’re probably going straight to hell for this, but we just can’t help it. It just brings tears of laughter to our eyes when the progressive retards who have been huffing unicorn farts for five years finally get the bill in the mail and realize that There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch™.

The only thing that could possibly make our Schadenboner any more terrifying in its tumescent splendor would be if they came crawling to us, His Imperial Told You So-Edness, for sympathy, assistance or even a pat on their pointed little heads. But that would just be too much to ask for.

One Oregon mother says that she is unable to afford health insurance for her and her 18-month-old son because it’s too expensive.

Surely you jest!

Nobody has been able to sign up on “Cover Oregon” (in massive loads of Obama’s spooge) and their pathetic, 404’ing clusterfuck of a miserable failure, so how could you possibly know that you can’t afford it?

The woman — who wishes to remain anonymous —

Proving that she’s not a complete retard. Just Progtarded enough to vote for the spiked 2×4 up her ample arse twice in a row.

tells KOIN-TV that she originally championed President Barack Obama’s signature health care law because she thought it would help people in her situation.

Translation: “I supported it because I thought it would get me free shit so I didn’t have to go get a paying job.”

Which, when you think about it, is a great attitude for a mother, not to mention an example to the rest of us when it comes to showing responsibility for the well-being of the child you brought into the world. “Not my problem! Somebody else needs to pay for that!”

If only we all were as respectable, responsible and community-minded as Democrat Progressive Socialist Obama Voters.

“I’ve been a cheerleader for…

“…anything that gave me pleasure as long as I never had to lift a finger for it…” Oh, sorry to interrupt you, parasite.

the Affordable Care Act ObamaCare since I heard about it and I assumed that it was designed for people in my situation,” she told KOIN.

“Give me free shit!”

And we fixed your typo. Why do we all of a sudden have to replace “Affordable Care Act” with “ObamaCare” all the time? We never had to before October 1st, 2013, but now we have to every single time the “law” gets mentioned in the media. It’s odd. Almost as if somebody in a white building in a district named something that rhymes with “Colombia” sent out a memo…

“I was planning on using the Affordable Care Act ObamaCare and I had done the online calculator in advance to make sure I was going to be able to afford it.”

See? Had to fix it again. And that would be the “online calculator” that came out with ObamaCare 1.0, at just the same time as “if you like your plan/doctor, you can keep your plan/doctor, period.”

Yeah. That one had a few problems. Or “glitches”, which is what this memo tells us to call it now… sorry, which is what we all of a sudden, all of us in the media, strangely at the exact same time, decided to call a disaster that would make the sinking of the Titanic look like a slightly rained upon Sunday picnic.

Her husband works for a non-profit organization that pays for his health care, but the couple is unable to afford to have her and their son covered under his plan. And she’s been told their combined income is too much to qualify for a subsidized health care plan under Cover Oregon.

“It wasn’t until I started the process and got an agent that I started hearing from them I wasn’t going to qualify for subsidies because I qualify on my husband’s insurance,” she told KOIN.

“It wasn’t until my lord and savior Obama’s most wonderful edict had become law that I found out that the freebies I was promised, the payments that made me vote for him like the good little immoral whore that I am, weren’t going to happen.”

“Wasn’t going to qualify for subsidies” = “wasn’t going to get it all for FREE as opposed to merely ‘cheaper than most other people'”

Our heart weeps with sympathy for your monstrous plight.

No, we weren’t talking to you, slut. We were talking to your poor baby who is going to pay the bill for you being a mindless, progressive, whoring, greedy, amoral parasite.

Oh, and please note how they couldn’t afford to add “family” to her husband’s employer-subsidized insurance, which is usually given at a HUGE discount, and were counting on ObamaCare to make up for the difference. That is to say: FREE. For her and her herpetic dick husband, that is.

In other, other words: She was all in favor of Obama and his “health care plan” until she realized that YOU weren’t going to have to pay for it.

But don’t you DARE question progressive socialist democrats concern for their fellow man.

They fucking LOVE you. As long as you pay their bills.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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