So the glorious ObamaCare.duh Epic Fail™ isn’t done being the gift that keeps on giving, huh? Well, if anything was to shake His Imperial Majesty out of his post-Thanksgiving tryptophane-induced somnolence syndrome (that’s a real medical term. We just made it up almost entirely ourself), a rip-roaring belly laugh would do the trick.

And we’re not merely talking about the retard misadministration moving the goalposts again and declaring victory

The Obama administration claimed victory Sunday for making workable for the vast majority of users,

As opposed to “all users” having an experience like buying a book on Amazon, which was the original claim. If Amazon could put a gun to your head and force you to buy a book at three times its normal price or you’d be fined. And you didn’t even want the book to begin with, but other than that? Perfect analogy and a quantum leap forward in choice, progress and user friendliness.

Oh, and “majority” is subject to further re-definition by the Gang That Couldn’t Code HTML over the next several months as well.

a standard that will be tested as millions of people flood the site in the next three weeks.

Or so they hope. Or dread. We can’t really say by now. On the one hand they need 7 million forced “customers”, on the other hand their site tends to crash if it has more simultaneous visitors than a Daily Kos post about Milton Friedman. Which is to say about three.

The agency that oversees said “we believe we have met the goal” of making the system navigable for most people, but cautioned that more problems may lie ahead.

And Tom Cruise believes that Xenu is an actual thing. Color us severely unimpressed by their confident expressions of certitude.

“Dramatic progress has been made,” the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) stated in a report released Sunday morning.

Depending on your definition of “dramatic.””

[But] there is more work to be done to continue to improve and enhance the website.”

What? You mean like fixing the payment system so people can actually pay for the plans they neither wanted, nor can afford? Or maybe fixing it so that the information from the “enrollees” (we have to qualify the usage of that word as it implies some level of volunteerism) can get to the actual insurers. Because if they don’t get that information or if the prisoners of the ObamaCare Gulag don’t pay for the plans they’ve been forced to purchase, they’re still not enrolled.

But other than not working for all the people who need to have some sort of insurance, other than not being able to take their payments, other than not being able to actually enroll them in the plans that they’re forced to purchase, other than those minor little details, ObamaCare is an astounding success!

So Lying King Barry and his Democrat Socialists rammed a law down the throat of 2/3 of Americans who quite vocally stated they didn’t want it without a single Republican vote to destroy our healthcare system, the best in the world (because, unlike ProgSocs, “liberals” and Democrat Socialists in this country, we have actually lived in this exotic place called “the world outside the U.S., so we actually know what we speak of), in order to insure the uninsured, and all they’ve achieved is that the millions of Americans who just got their doctors and plans cancelled, the ones that Lying King Barry had promised them they could keep, will now be without insurance for months and months into 2014.

Golf clap. Heckuva job, Barry. And you too, idiot voters who voted for that Marxist Monkey.

But the fun doesn’t end here, oh no. We’re sure you remember how CNN broadcast a live split picture of being down on one side and Kathleen Baghdad Bob Sebelius Mengele stating that the website had never been down on the other. We’re sure you also remember how that same vile case of crotch rot, while visiting Florida to wax poetic about the wonders of her site, was caught going “ruh-roh” as it crashed again.

Seriously, Kathleen: At some point you just have to take a hint. But oh no. On the day that the misadministration had promised their “tech surge” would bring about Nirvana and eternal bliss for their “troubled” (the same way that the Titanic’s voyage to New York was “troubled”) website, CNN broadcast this:


Oh please, no MORE! Make it stop, Yahweh, we just can’t stand it anymore!



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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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