And the comedy gold just keeps on keeping on. We swear, we haven’t had this much fun since somebody talked centurion Aemilius Gallinus into walking through the enclosure of the Imperial War Dogs dressed as Vercingetorix in bacon armor.

To recap, very briefly, Dumb King Narcissus Barackus Obamus drew a red line in the sand daring Assad to cross it. Assad, or more likely somebody wanting to make it look as if it was Assad, crossed it. Twice. First time King Barackus was off golfing or something because he didn’t utter a word, but the second time he immediately, prompted by a shitload of scandals and budget negotiations he’d rather not anybody talk about, did an exceedingly poor impersonation of Cato the Elder with Damascus playing the role of Carthage.

If Cato was demanding that Carthage be destroyed by an “unbelievably small”, “not really intended to do much of anything” series of barrages from Imperial ballistas and definitely no caligae on the ground, that is. As we said, a very poor impersonation.

Then it became painfully obvious that nobody was on board with his sudden warlike demeanor as everybody jumped ship, most notably our British allies who sent a diplomatic note stating that they’d be at home washing their hair, so very sorry to say, and the only remaining “ally” being fwance who remained perfectly resolved to fight to the very last Americain. As usual. Oh, and it quickly became clear that Congress was going to be otherwise engaged on the night of his Excellent Adventure as well.

So he immediately went into “blame everybody else” mode by stating that his poor impersonation of Cato the Elder was really only an impersonation, a composite personality and that it was, in fact, everybody else in the universe who’d been calling for what he’d personally been calling for, also known as the “they made me do it!” defense known so very well in elementary schools everywhere. Except that most elementary school students don’t make references to Bush, but that’s just further proof of the genius brain of King Barackus.

Meanwhile, his equally inept Secretary of State, Fuckface Kerry the Motor Mouth, the successor to his previous inept Secretary of State, Hillary “what difference, at this point, does it make?” Clintoon, issued the verbal diarrhea that was heard around the world:

“Sure, [Assad] could turn over every single bit of his chemical weapons to the international community in the next week. Turn it over, all of it without delay and allow the full and total accounting for that, but he isn’t about to do it and…can’t be done obviously.

Emphasis ours.

This was then immediately walked back by the Dept. of State and even Fuckface himself, speaking to Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov, as a clearly rhetorical remark which, we must admit, was a rare moment of truth from the Barackus Idiot Administration. He did, after all, point out that not only wouldn’t Assad do it, he couldn’t do it. Obviously.

Too late. Vladimir Putin, in between bouts of laughing at the criminally inept incompetence of the U.S. misadministration, sat up and had Lavrov reach out to Assad’s regime, striking a deal with them, in between laughing a lot more, that they’d agree to hand over their chemical weapons that they’d previously denied even existed.

So now King Barackus, after he and his fellow idiots had set a trap for themselves by running their ignorant pie holes, suddenly found himself with what looked like, looked like, a way to extricate himself from his uninterrupted string of clusterfucks, and he promptly went for it like a rabid Michael Moore at an all-you-can-eat donut buffet, suddenly claiming that Fuckface’s obvious case of verbal flatulence was “totally what he meant to do all along” after everybody in his Klown Kar had vigorously denied it. They didn’t mean it until they meant it.

Standard fare for the retards currently running the White House, really, but what was interesting was the pattern beginning to emerge here. Putin just sitting back long enough for the retards to stick their heads into the noose, and then…

And, after the King Barackus Klown Kirkus had had just enough time to suddenly reverse course once again and make utter fools of themselves, also again, patting themselves on the back for having achieved this masterful stroke of diplomatic genius by being totally OK with a vote in the Security Council because that’s what they’d meant to get all the time, seriously, Putin pulled the rug out from under them AGAIN, by withdrawing themselves from the vote unless, of course, King Barackus agreed to promise not to use any sort of force against Assad at all.

You know, the same Assad that we absolutely, positively had to strike because he was both Hitler and Satan at the same time, no matter what, according to the pathetic dilettante community organizer in the White House.

So now King Barackus, after having told the world how he, HE personally brought the world back from the brink of disaster with his peaceful ways and expert diplomacy, now is faced with the choice of A) letting Assad pretend to be getting rid of his chemical weapons that he got from Saddam without actually getting rid of them or B) suddenly being in favor of war after he was against it after he was for it after he didn’t really care either way.

Well played, Putin, well played indeed. Although we have to deduct points for you having played the equivalent of a brain damaged mollusk.

So much for the “most brilliant statesman ever who plays four dimensional chess” who, in fact, would have a hard time grasping the rules, much less the strategy, of checkers.

Still, it’s somewhat sad to see that it takes an ex-KGB Colonel to expose the incompetent afterbirth of a loon “president” of our country when our so-called “media” has had almost a decade to do the same thing.

But at least SOMEBODY’s doing it.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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