Fair Warning: The link goes to the Puffington Host but, and it is really strange for us to say this, but we can safely promise that you won’t regret clicking on it.
Short version: Some fuckwit baboon goblin decides to rob a bunch of people standing in line in Atlanta to buy a pair of ridiculously overpriced sneakers. With a gun. This apparently didn’t go over too well with one of the intended victims:
“One of the victims pulled his own handgun and shot the suspect,” Officer John Chafee said in a statement reported by WXIA. “A number of witnesses were interviewed and this appears to be self defense.”
We’ll just sit right here and wait while the whoops and laughter die down. Oh, the goblin assumed room temperature right after he got ventilated, by the way.
**Waits for applause and second round of cheers to die down**
We just thought you should know that as well.
Obviously, we much prefer our scenario as alluded to in the headline, because we absolutely despise motherless bastards who do that and we will mercilessly shoot the hell out of them. In the face. Goblins reading this should make a note of that, particularly considering how much lines will soon become a fact of life in the Obamutopia of Next Tuesday™ that they voted for.
But we digress. The story gets even better.
What did our Righteous Citizen Hero do after having sent off a goblin to where all goblins belong?
…who continued to wait on line after the shooting, according to NBC News.
Now THAT’S what “cool as a cucumber” is all about down here!
Yeah, that’s right. He sees goblin, decides that he disagrees with the goblins ideas about wealth redistribution, draws his firearm, shoots the scumbag dead and proceeds calmly to wait in line to buy the damn sneakers he came there for in the first place.
We like to imagine him twirling his handgun around his finger and blowing the imaginary smoke away from the muzzle before re-holstering, but that’s just us.
Way to go!