OK, this is going to be the strangest and most likely least convincing sales pitch I’ve ever delivered for a collection because, well, you’ll see…
One of our esteemed LCs came up with something that would make for a great surprise for another one of our very esteemed LCs and I’m all in, so that’s why I’m even posting this.
It’s be one heck of a nice surprise, and we’re not even talking a fortune here. The only snag is, it’s a surprise. So I obviously can’t say a damn thing here on a public forum about it or, well, you get the drift.
Naturally, at this point, you have every right to go “sure, you’re asking us to donate to something that we don’t even know what it is and we just have to take your word for it that we’d want to?” You’re right, of course. It sounds very much like a Nigerian email. In my defense I offer the following:
1) My name is not Obama, so the words “trust me” mean something. At least to me.
2) That still isn’t enough, obviously, as we’re all hurting thanks to the aforementioned corrupt, lying, treasonous bastard. You’d be fools to take anybody’s word for anything these days.
3) You don’t have to take my word for anything, as a matter of fact I wouldn’t dare ask you to do so, so if your interest has been piqued, please email me and I’ll let you know. Use the email on the right sidebar. That’s the one with “mish” (no “a”) followed by the domain name. That one hasn’t been completely buried in spam yet.
4) I don’t want any actual donations right now, so please hold off hitting the “donate” button until you’ve decided if you’re in, because I need to find out if we’re able to reach the goal first. The goal which is not all that hard to hit, but until I know that we can hit it I won’t give the “GO”. Just, after what I can tell you has satisfied that you’re interested, give me a pledge. Once we hit the magic number, I’ll send the “GO” to all of the pledgers.
5) Is “pledgers” even a word?
6) I don’t think so. Can we make it one?
7) Is anybody still reading this?
See? Worst sales pitch ever, but it would really be nice to pull this one off.
Oh, and I forgot to add: This is for something nice, something really nice, but it’s NOT a matter of life or death, but you’ll know if you email and ask.
Thanks for your time.
UPDATE: First of all, thanks for the immediate feedback and your never-failing generosity! Those of you who asked for the details at “Mish” AT “domain name here” should have them now. If you don’t, then you used the wrong addy or I need to check my spam folder and get you out of there pronto. Just tread water for a while among the piles of penis enlargement emails from Nigerian princes who want to enlarge my breasts while transferring 47 MILLION DOLLARS! to my bank account any day now, for REALS! and I will get to your email eventually.
Second, we’re a go! Remember, we don’t need astronomical sums here, and those of you who asked will know that, but we’re definitely a GO!
Thanks again for all that all of you do all the time!