Yes, we’re going to just shamelessly lift stuff off of our beloved sestrichka’s website for this one.

For two reasons:

1) There is nothing we could possibly say that might add to it.

2) Our sestrichka is just that awesome.

3) No, we don’t care about rules. So there were three reasons. Sue us. But we’re also currently being invaded by the Imperial Family, so we’re not exactly overburdened with free time. At least not the kind of free time that doesn’t involve getting shitfaced and generally behaving like a bloody pagan, which is what life’s all about.

Installment the first.

Installment the second.

Read them in that order. Unless you’re the sort of wanker who likes to pay for a book only to read the last chapter because you can’t be arsed to read the whole story. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Synopsis, for those of you who are the sort of wankers who can’t be arsed to actually read anything at all: Kid goes skeet shooting (honor student, top of his class, never did anything wrong), kid forgets that his boom stick is still in his truck, kid remembers that it’s in there when he gets to school, kid secures vehicle and goes to call his mom to kindly come remove the “offending” object from truck, Stasi Obamarrhoid Drone overhears conversation and reports kid, kid gets suspended and charged with felony for trying to do the right thing because he’s a clear Enemy of the ObamaSoviet Utopia of Next Tuesday™.

You’ll have to read the second part to find out what happens next, but it will be worth it.

As will every single little thing that you do, no matter how insignificant and hopeless that it might seem to you at the time because you’ve been listening too much to the All Is Lost™ crowd, every little thing you do to fuck over the USSA Regime by telling them what not and doing whatever you can to make their legions of brownshirted bureaucrats and apparatchiks uncomfortable.

You see: Tyrannies can’t function without a cowed and compliant populace. And every little thing you can do to utterly fuck up their day and shove their totalitarian shit right back in their piggish mugs helps.

Make their lives miserable. Every second of your life. Start every day by thinking “how can I fuck up a bureaucrat’s life today?”, then go ahead and do it.

And if the brownshirts get really feisty? Well, you all know what to do then, don’t you?


Or not, for those of you who are still wondering what “fucking up the Stasis’ apparatus” means, here’s an idea. An idea that we totally don’t endorse, it’s just a thought experiment, something that we urge you in the strongest possible terms not to do, but it sure would work in a hypothetical scenario where you might want to Cloward-Pivens the fuck out of the Cloward-Pivens of our New OgabeTopia: Do you live in one of those states where the Stasis just enacted a new law say, one that outlawed the possession of standard capacity magazines? Did the brownshirts of said state establish an anonymous hotline for snitches to rat on their fellow citizens? Well then, it would be pretty easy to fuck up that, now wouldn’t it? All you would need is a burner phone and then you’d be set, reporting every single one of the totalitarian legislators who voted for it, along with anybody you know who voted for them, for infractions against said “law.”

Would they end up in jail? Of course they wouldn’t, but it would still force the ProgNazi brownshirts to spend time chasing their own tails.

Just a thought.

We aim to misbehave.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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