We thought about fisking her angry email that her sisters weren’t putting out enough for the Sigma Nus. Not because we really care what they’re doing but because we like fisking idiots. Anti-Idiotarian and all that. Then we thought about posting about it because the girl truly does have an amazing way with words. Specifically words of the “creative cussing” variety, something that His Imperial Majesty has a soft spot the size of a football field for. You can read the whole outrageously outrageous email here, and you should because it truly is a thing of beauty, even if you care as little about the subject matter that got her fired up as we do. “Cunt punt” is one of our favorites now and will immediately go into the Encyclopedia Imperia. Not bad for a sorority chick. We salute you 🙂

And then we promptly forgot.

But the rest of the world didn’t. Hoo boy did the media go apeshit over this silly teenager’s profanity-laden email to the point where she apparently felt it necessary, or more likely somebody else felt it necessary, for her to resign from the sorority.

And so the story is now about how she has irrevocably “branded”, “stigmatized” and “tattooed” herself for life because The Internet Is Forever and all that.

“The Internet is forever,” Fertik added. “Unfortunately for her, her ‘online tattoo’ will stick with her for a long, long time—and it will likely color how peers, future employers, grad school admissions officers, etc., regard her as a person. She’s going to have to work very hard to show that she’s taken this experience and used it to grow into a more mature, thoughtful, tolerant and compassionate person.”

Oh give us a fucking break, you pointy-headed “deep thinker” taking yourself entirely too seriously.

She’s a teen (we presume, and if not then only barely out of her teen years) girl awash in confusing hormonal impulses trying to figure out What’s Important In Life™ and What The Meaning Of It All Is™ (42, dear, there’s your answer) who got really, really passionate about what she thought was important right now and wrote an email that is as funny as it is impressive in its complete rejection of decorum, sticking to expletives that actually exist and, well, grammar.

She’ll grow out of it and, in the meantime, she will have at least proven that she has a creative bone in her body. Several, we’d say.

Anybody who would hold that email against her or suggest that it encompasses anything that she’s actually all about in, say, 10 years is the one who has a problem. Not her.

And His Imperial Majesty says this as a stodgy, wet blanket, rigidly socially conservative bore who, by the definition of the left, has no sense of humor whatsoever.

Heck, girl. You polish your writing off a bit, and really only a bit, and you can come write for us if you’re interested. The pay and benefits are great. Or so we say. Enjoy being young and full of spunk. You only get to do so once, so make the most of it. “Growing up” comes later, if at all. No hurry.

(Thanks to LC and IB Ace who, as he is wont to do, has a lot more to say about it).

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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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