His Imperial Majesty is sad to announce that our brother Jackboot has joined the ranks of those who has been hit by the wonders of living in this Golden Age of Obamatopia too, as in “having his financial rug pulled out from under him.”

I’m even more sad to announce that I didn’t learn of the fact until now because the humble, unassuming, don’t want to be a burden, proud (all qualities that I find admirable but still) Jackboot didn’t let me know until after the fact, but that’s just me being pissy. It’s not like I don’t share, or like to think that I share, some of those traits.

So I’m going to just go ahead and ignore his pleas to not say a damn thing about it. I’m the Emperor, after all, so I get to do whatever the Hades I want to do, and say what he’s too proud to say: He’s in the Suck and could use some help. He’ll hate me for it in the morning, but he can take that up with the Imperial Courts and best of luck with that.

I do feel bad about throwing that out on you guys, particularly since you’ve been so loyal when I’ve really not given you that much reason to lately (I’m sorry about that but I’ll get better, I just pray that I haven’t successfully alienated everybody who once gave a damn about this community before that happy day and I’ll perfectly understand if that’s not the case), times are tough for all of us right now, but I just can’t sit back and pretend it isn’t happening.

So if Reichsführer Ogabe hasn’t yet found the few shekels that you’ve been hiding under the sofa cushions and, and this is important, if you don’t need them more urgently yourself, it would be a great mitzvah if you could send them on so I can forward them to him.

Regardless, G-d (or the deity or non-deity of your choice) bless you all.

I don’t deserve you.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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