And on the fifth day of the Sequestrocalypse, planes falling from the skies, violent gangs roaming the streets where police once kept the peace, wild animals no longer under control running rampant in once idyllic neighborhoods, tearing out the throats of womyn and chillun (hey, Pharaoh Tit-Bama said it would be so, so it must be true!), news did arrive from the far reaches of the Empire that the vile commie cunt Hugo Chavez, friend of Pharaoh Tit-Bama, had passed on to hell after a futile battle with cancer.

Note to Michael Moore-on: How’s that fabulous, world’s best, FREE health care system of Cuba working out for your buddy Hugo again? For all of you Tit-Bama voters who have not the faintest clue what His Imperial Majesty is talking about, don’t worry. Thanks to your beloved Tit-Bama, you’ll soon find out. Very soon indeed. And we’ll be laughing our arse off.

But back to that bloated abomination, Chavez: Hot diggety-DAMN those were some fantastic news to wake up to! We hope very sincerely that he suffered all the pains and agues that cancer has to offer and that he died screaming in pain as his body rotted away and Satan hisself reached out and ripped his claws through his obscenely fat body. Whither goes Venezuela from here on out we know not and care even less. They went, with their irresponsible, selfish, greedy, entitled voting habits from being a relatively prosperous country to a corrupt, poverty and starvation-ridden, deeply indebted piss pit which, coincidentally, is how every single damn country that has ever treated socialists to anything other than a bullet to the back of the head ended up. History books. Read them some time.

Lengthy part follows, in which the Bad Parts and His Imperial Majesty’s thoughts on the State of Our Nation are revealed. It’s long, so we’ve hidden it beneath the fold in case you’d rather not be depressed.

Of course, His Imperial Majesty, being always benevolent, tried warning you idiot Tit-Bama worshipers repeatedly, thus freeing you from the unreasonable hardship of educating yourselves, but it was like pissing into the wind. You wouldn’t listen. And soon your nest too will be a pest hole not fit for humans and we will all, those of us who tried to stop your greedy little ignorant paws from pulling the lever for poverty, remember who was responsible once that particular butcher’s bill comes due.

Believe us. We have exceedingly long memories and we WILL collect. No statute of limitations on that particular debt and no, after voting for the useless fuck AGAIN after four years of his tyrannic rule, you’re fresh out of excuses. Don’t ask for leniency, because none will be forthcoming. None. Whatsoever.

Speaking of Pharaoh Tit-Bama, it looks like he’s beginning to feel the heat too. He’s busy arming his Civilian National Security Force Department of Homeland Security ReichsSicherheitsHauptAmt to the teeth.

1.6 billion, that’s “billion” with a “B”, bullets, 7,000 Evul Black Rifles™ and, wait for it, 2,717 armored vehicles. That, added to what they already have as well as the recent declared desire of Der Führer to use drones and missile strikes on U.S. soil, sure sounds like somebody’s mobilizing for something. Next up for Reichsführer Obama’s Private Army: tanks, an air force and perhaps some field artillery too. Can’t be too careful with those “domestic terrorists”, and we think you know who he’s talking about when he uses that term. Hint: They’re not swarthy furriners who bow down in a specific direction 6 times a day to worship.

You read it here first.

“Posse comitatus?” Never heard of it and, besides, shut up.

And his regime, after having bombarded the airwaves with the willing aid and comfort of his fellow traitors to the Constitution, the entire journalist profession, telling us the dire, dire consequences of cutting the bloated federal government’s mindless spending by a full $42 billion (out of about $4 trillion, that’s trillion with a “T”) is now issuing edicts to their minions to make sure those puny cuts hurt as much as possible, lest Pharaoh Tit-Bama be made to look like a liar.

“We have gone on record with a notification to Congress and whoever else that ‘APHIS would eliminate assistance to producers in 24 states in managing wildlife damage to the aquaculture industry, unless they provide funding to cover the costs.’ So it is our opinion that however you manage that reduction, you need to make sure you are not contradicting what we said the impact would be…[Emphasis ours]

This in response to said agency inquiring as to whether they could spread the cuts out to areas that wouldn’t impact Americans as much. The answer was “NO! Those ungrateful peasants failed to worship Lord Obama sufficiently, so now they must suffer as much as possible!”

That, in addition to the aforementioned DHS ReichsSicherheitsHauptAmt deciding to release dangerous criminals into society to REALLY show those unworthy former citizens (now subjects) of His Most Glorious Majesty Obama what defying the Living God brings down upon you.

At least the Heimat SS goons of the ReichsSicherheitsHauptAmt won’t have to worry about those criminals, seeing as how they’ve armed themselves to the teeth with our tax dollars. To fight us. You know, it’s interesting really. At least the traditional communist dictators in places like China have the decency to not charge you for the bullet until after they put it in your brain pan. The Ogabe Regime charges you ahead of time. And then they’ll probably charge your family again after the fact. PROGRESS! FORWARD!

You have to admire the nerve of those fascist fucks, really you do. Then shoot them dead. Twice. Just to be sure.

Alright. So where does that leave us? Deep breath, declaration follows:

With all of the above and numerous other things that we’ve all seen lately, it’s become quite abundantly clear to His Imperial Majesty that, with the inexcusable idiocy of the American voters who pulled the lever for their own destruction (and ours as well), the gloves are well and truly off. No trying to hide it anymore. The Fascist “Democrats” are all in, this is it, dictatorship or bust and they’re not even pretending to mean otherwise.

And with clear evidence on hand regarding the useless GOP majority in the House who, under the “leadership” of Neville Chamberlain Boner, have rushed to roll over for every single treasonous power grab by the Ogabe Regime (and don’t even get us started on the even more useless GOP surrender monkeys in the Senate), it is quite obvious that reinforcements for those of us who would like to resurrect America-That-Was for the benefit of ourselves, our children and our children’s children, are not forthcoming.

The ballot box has, we regret to inform you, failed. Keeping the House in GOP hands has not helped any at all, as a matter of fact it has only provided the enemy occupational regime with a fig leaf in the shape of “look, the GOP went along with it, it’s bipartisan!”

Our nation is under occupation. The forces of our enemies do not regard our Constitution with anything but disdain, they do not govern with our consent, rather they try to enforce their rule upon us against our express dissent, we have no way of petitioning the “government” in a useful fashion for a redress of grievances as our petitions are ignored, not only by the regime but also by our alleged “allies”, the GOP.

We have no rule of law. The supreme law of our land, the Constitution for which our forefathers bled, is being utterly ignored at will, and as the OgabeCare debacle showed us, not even the Supreme Court can be expected to abide by it. Furthermore, as to the numerous other acts of treason against our Constitution, none in the GOP have the guts to stand up and challenge them in a meaningful fashion. A few soundbites, some hearings, and that’s it. In spite of us currently living under a regime that has committed impeachable crimes against said Constitution too many times to count, not once has articles of impeachment been on the table.

We are a lawless nation occupied by tyrants and thugs and our government of “checks and balances” is not functioning the way it was intended to anymore.

It is therefore with a heavy heart that we, finally, after much deliberation (which is a great part of the explanation why we haven’t been all that active lately), proclaim that it’s time to stop pretending that this will all iron itself out. When even the supreme law of our land can’t count on finding allies in Congress, it is rendered not meaningless, but impotent.

The ingenious system that our Founders devised to keep our nation one of free men and women cannot function when none of the actors in said system can find it in themselves to uphold their oaths of office. They, too, by betraying their oath, have become enemies of the Constitution. Those who are passive in the face of the enemy are no different from those who aid and abet him.

It is, we guess, to be expected from the gutless wonders of DC. They, having never (with the possible exception of a very select few who have so far failed to make an impression) faced true adversity or sacrifice, naturally cower in the face of such, prioritizing their own creature comforts over the sacred duty of honoring their oaths. It is no excuse, they are fully responsible for their betrayal and will and must be held accountable, but we’re not particularly surprised by their cowardice. Our Sacred Founders, who all of them faced far worse than a scathing editorial in The New York Times and the possible loss of a lucrative sinecure in government, would have pissed on them and shat in their mouthes.

As to the rest of us? Well, we’ll each have to make our own minds up. His Imperial Majesty’s choice is clear, if not easy. An oath is an oath. Once laid down, you’re bound by it, the hell with the consequences. Not that the consequences don’t matter, they’re particularly dire in situations such as the one we all face right now, but to renege on an oath is to forever lose your honor, and that is just about the worst thing that can happen to a person, in our opinion.

Your worth is in how much you’re willing to sacrifice to honor your word. If you’re not bound by your word, then you’re not bound by anything and nothing you say or do has any meaning whatsoever.

And the oath, if ever you laid it down (and how we wish that it was mandatory for every citizen of this nation), has been triggered. That was a long time ago, but back then we could still hold off and say “it might yet fix itself, we still have two parties” because nobody in their right minds want to reach for the last box unless forced to. There are, as LC Fa Cube Itches said once, no “splendid little wars.” But we’re past that point. We now know that we have no true allies in Congress who feel bound in the least by their oaths if it interferes with their personal ambitions in the slightest.

If you’re still not sure that it has been triggered, particularly the part about “against all enemies, foreign AND domestic”, read through the Declaration of Independence and its very thorough and reasonable justification for our Founders’ decision to part ways with King George. Then make a check mark every time you find a grievance against King George that the current regime is equally guilty of. If you grow tired of the exercise quickly because you run out of ink, you get the point.

So what does that mean for those of us who meant what we said when we laid down the oath?

As to what we should do at this point, we don’t know yet.

But we know it’s up to us, all of us, now. We’re the only friends the Constitution has left, and if we betray it too, then we might as well shred it.

War has been declared upon us and it’s time to prove that we meant it when we raised that right hand.

Playtime is over. Shit just got real.

Embrace the suck, and know that you’re doing this not just for yourselves or your oath, you’re doing it for future generations too. If you have children, then that’s all we need to say.

It’s on.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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