Chicago reached “a tragic number” today, according to Police Superintendent Garry McCarthy: Its homicide total for the year hit 500, the highest annual total since 2008.
How can that be? Not only are criminals not allowed to own guns in Chicago, nobody else is either. Clearly they’re making this up. How can anybody be killed when guns, through careful and thorough “reasonable gun legislation”, have been made to automagically disappear?
Largely contributing to the spike was the unusual number of homicides that occurred during the early part of the year, when the city experienced unseasonable warmth.
Oh, that’s it of course!
BAN THE SUN!!!!
In the first three months of the year, homicides ran about 60 percent ahead of the 2011 rate.
And BAN THE FIRST THREE MONTHS OF THE YEAR TOO!!!
There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?