Since you’re so convinced that the only way to avoid further massacres is to disarm the prospective victims ahead of time, we’re willing to compromise and let you at least try out your model for a bit in order to evaluate it.

Therefore, be it resolved that from this day forward, all premises of government, in particular every government facility in the Washington DC area including, but not limited to, the Supreme Court, Congress and the White House, be declared Gun Free Zones™ in order to better protect the individuals therein.

In order to avoid the tragedies and accidents always following, according to Congress, whenever human beings are allowed near means of self defense, let it further be resolved that any and all weapons be banned inside the premises. To follow the example that has worked so well for our schools because, after all, if it’s good enough for Teh Children™, it must be good enough for a bunch of fat, corrupt, lazy, out of shape old men and women, let any and all armed security on and around the premises immediately be let go, including the Secret Service.

Our children don’t merit Secret Service protection, and we’re sure that you don’t consider yourselves more important than them. After all, you can’t stop wailing about Teh Children™ every time you want to justify another rape of the American people For Our Own Good™, so clearly they’re first and foremost on your minds, right?

Make all of government a Gun Free Zone™ with possession of a weapon on the premises no matter who you are a third degree felony and let’s see how well that works out. Surely you’ll be the safest of individuals securely hidden under the umbrella of signage. Then let’s see what happens before we discuss the subject any further.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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