Since we’re tired of talking about Der Fubar for now. Which will last all of three minutes, tops, until he fucks the pooch again (and then cooks it and eats it with a white wine sauce).

Nidal Hasan, the pisslamic barbaric fuckwit who brutally murdered 13 people in an orgy of pisslamic rage, is apparently about to have his lice-infested, pisslamic beard razed off by court order.

A US military judge has ordered the Fort Hood massacre suspect, army major Nidal Hasan, to shave or be forcibly shaved, ruling that his beard is not covered by federal laws protecting religious freedom.

Colonel Gregory Gross ruled following a hearing that Hasan’s attorneys had failed to prove he had grown the beard, which he has worn since June, for religious reasons. Hasan, 41, has said he grew the beard in line with the beliefs of his Islamic faith and that it is part of his free exercise of religion.

Which His Imperial Majesty considers at least slightly odd, considering that we’ve been told by the JizyaMedia and every possible alphabet soup federal agency in existence that there is absolutely NO reason, none whatsoever, to think that Nidal Hasan’s murder spree was in any way connected to any religion of his. Why, the man is practically an Atheist for Allah, fermohammedssakes!

We guess he just “found religion” as he realized that he was up on charges for 13 counts of premeditated murder (or “pisslamic Jihad”, as it’s known to those who are still in possession of a brain) as well as 32 counts of attempted same and, we’re told, his wearing of traditional pisslamic garb and repeated shouts of “allahu akbar” while gunning down innocents was just his quaint, perfectly legitimate way of asking to speak to the manager about a tube of KY-gel that had left his arsehole unusually raw and tender.

Hasan is accused of opening fire on 5 November 2009 at a deployment centre at Fort Hood, one of the largest US army bases, killing 13 people.

The “accusation” being based on eyewitness testimony and camera footage of him doing exactly what he’s “accused” of.

If Hasan is forcibly shaved it would not be a simple process, Broadway said. Army regulations are specific on how forced shaves can be carried out.

Not simple? That’s only because the Armed Forces are being run by neutered metrosexuals. In His Imperial Majesty’s Armed Forces, it is quite simple. Here’s a picture of our shaver:

Not only does it solve problems with undesirable facial hair, it takes care of acne as an added bonus!

On the other hand, there are some reports that the pisslamic vermin has become a quadriplegic as a result of the return fire that stopped his massacre, so it would probably be better to go with life without parole in his case.

After all, the other lifers have urges too, and what better than to hand them their very own, life-like, warm sex doll who won’t resist in the slightest on account of his being unable to, and you don’t even have to feel the slightest bit of remorse after plowing his arsehole like a freaking maniac.

Bonus: No inflation required!


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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