When we find ourself thinking that Mike Fuckabee is actually making sense, then we have to start worrying. But he is, in spite of what Allahpundit and the rest of the “right” wing blogosphere Inquisition are saying.

The Party’s leaders have for reasons that aren’t rational, left him behind on the political battlefield, wounded and bleeding, a casualty of his self-inflicted, but not intentional wound. In a Party that supposedly stands for life, it was tragic to see the carefully orchestrated and systematic attack on a fellow Republican. Not for a moral failure or corruption or a criminal act, but for a misstatement which he contritely and utterly repudiated. I was shocked by GOP leaders and elected officials who rushed so quickly to end the political life of a candidate over a mistaken comment in an interview. This was a serious mistake, but it was blown out of proportion not by the left, but by Akin’s own Republican Party. Is this what the party really thinks of principled pro-life advocates? Do we forgive and forget the verbal gaffes of Republicans who are “conveniently pro-life” for political advantage, but crucify one who truly believes that every life is sacred?

Yep, Mike, it sure seems that way. Us Icky SoCons are just fine and perfectly allowed to hold our archaic, unsciency beliefs as long as we only use them to snare other SoCons into the Gentry GOP’s ever so much more enlightened tent, but if we dare actually believe in those things, in public no less, then we can just go fuck ourselves.

But, of course, it’s more than that too. It’s not just a Gentry GOP scheme to build their very own plantation for SoCons the same way the Democrat National Socialists have built one for blacks (who else are they going to vote for?), it’s also yet another in a long, long row of examples of the so-called “right” being extremely eager to let the liberal fascists frame the Narrative, define the battlefield and control the language. We’ve seen it so many times we’ve lost count.

The liberal fascists manufacture an outrage and the “pragmatic” right immediately crawl over each other to be firstest with the mostest and loudest condemnation and denunciation before they’ve even considered what the whole kerfuffle is about. And by the time the dust has settled and they’ve slaughtered their own in yet another futile attempt to appease the liberal fascist anger gods, the liberal fascists are laughing their arses off, having won yet another battle by letting the other side execute each other with “friendly” fire.

Because we’re betterer than they are and that, apparently, needs to be proven over and over again and can only be proven by surrendering the battlefield without a shot (at the other side, anyway) every single time the enemy as much as looks at us funny.

We suppose one way of explaining it would be deep-seated insecurity on the part of those “right” wing Witchfinder Generals. After all, a person who knows he’s right doesn’t need to “prove” anything. His actions and beliefs prove them every day. But if he’s not actually sure he’s right, then it’s another matter.

It’s like the whole ROE clusterfuck overseas. We’re murdering our own troops by tying their hands behind their backs in a fight with the most unscrupulous, sadistic, subhuman enemy we’ve ever fought, including the Japs and the Nazis. For what? To “prove” that we’re “better than they are.”

What the everloving FUCK do we have to “prove?” Is being the strongest, most prosperous, freest (at least until Obongo and his NSDWP took over) nation in the history of the world not proof enough? Is the fact that people all over the rest of the world are trying to get here rather than the other way around not proof enough? Yes, His Majesty was born an ig’nant furreiner, so maybe we’re not getting some of the finer nuances here, BUT WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS COUNTRY HAVE TO PROVE THAT ITS EXISTENCE HASN’T PROVEN ALREADY???

If anything, dropping a nuke on the capital of one of those festering, pisslamic, barbarian savage terrorist breeding grounds would be the best proof we can think of that we’re better than they are.

But we digress, back to the whole Akin clusterfuck:

You can’t win by constantly surrendering to your enemy. You. Just. Can’t. Mewling infants in our Imperial native stomping grounds understand this instinctively. Why is it so fucking hard to understand for some people in this country?

Yes, Akin said something incredibly clumsy, wide open to misinterpretation because he couldn’t resist walking into an obvious trap. Not smart. We’ve said that ourself and we mean it. And he apologized, he clarified, he did anything short of crawling all the way to Damascus on his bleeding knees, but that wasn’t enough. Oh noes, the pile-on was in effect, the Code Red had been called and not a single “conservative” of the blogosphere wanted to be the last one to slap the bleeding corpse in the head with a shoe. Because otherwise their “better than they are” bona fides might be threatened.


Yes, we actually agree, as we’ve said already, that it would be best if Akin withdrew at this point, but we didn’t say so until it was bloody obvious that he had been irreparably mauled, not by his enemies (we should expect that), but by his alleged allies. That’s not the point. The point is that it makes us want to puke reading the howls of outrage that he won’t withdraw now that he’s a dead man walking, politically speaking, coming from the same Idiotarian arseholes who are, to a large part, responsible for the fact that he is a dead man walking.

They’ll whine and scream and beat their chests that his stubborn refusal to withdraw might cost us control of the Senate (they’re right about that, by the way), heck we should probably stage an intervention for Ace at this point to keep him from killing himself over that issue, it’s all that he seems able to talk about and we’d really rather not lose his great wit and wonderfully wicked sense of humor, but they won’t for a fleeting second countenance that the reason that his candidacy is dead and, as a result, might cost us the Senate, is due in large part to their efforts to gang bang it to death before the idiot even had a chance to defend himself.

And, to top off the irony milkshake with a giant maraschino irony bomb, they’re equally outraged that he won’t consider their wise counsel to withdraw after they’ve been parading his proverbial head around on a bloody spike for days, banging their chests and proclaiming their righteous virtue in calling for the witch to be burned. We may be old-fashioned, but we wouldn’t exactly be open to suggestions from people who’d just tried to have us publicly hanged, drawn and quartered either.

So if Akin’s bid goes down in flames, as we believe it will at this point, and if it means that the Senate stays in liberal fascist hands, then we fully intend to hold up a mirror to those who helped destroy it every single fucking time they wail about it.

Are we saying that we should just turn a blind eye whenever one of “ours” fucks up and says something stupid? Of course we’re not, anybody who knows us knows that too. But there are ways of going about that not involving surrendering to the enemy. When somebody on our side says something truly stupid (we’ve been known to do so ourself from time to time), we fully intend to point it out to them and demand that they clarify. And then we’ll let it go at that until they’ve had a chance to respond.

If they’re stuck on stupid, then so be it. Good riddance. But doing the liberal fascists’ dirty work for them?

Not on our watch.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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