Yes, we know. Floored you with that one, didn’t we? The arguably single most stupid talking head moron DNC Chair in the history of the DNC once again proves that the only introduction she’s ever had to her brain was when she sneezed it out during what she thought was merely a bad sinus infection.

“Soledad, of course I know the Priorities USA super PAC is a Democratic-affiliated super PAC,” Wasserman Schultz said.

This the day after she said, and we know that we’re going to be called racists again for accurately quoting a liberal fascist, but see if we give a bent Imperial sestertius:

DWS: It’s a priorities USA Super PAC ad…

Host: Correct

DWS: … and we have nothing to do with it.

Host: Do you deny that they’re Democrats?

DWS: I have no idea of the political affiliation of the folks associated with that Super PAC.

Visualize His Imperial Majesty taking off his reading glasses and rubbing his eyes while trying to make any sort of coherent sense out of those two statements, then visualize us giving up a losing battle without even trying.

Listen, Debbie Dearest, we do realize what you’re trying to do here, you’re trying to disavow any and all coordination between the DNC and Priorities “Romney Gave My Wife Cancer” USA since it is, in a word, illegal, but you’re doing it badly. So badly, in fact, that you’re making dumb animals look like geniuses by comparison.

We also realize, you poor dumb twat, that you don’t exactly has the best material in the world to work with. It’s not for nothing that your chocolate god is known as a Stuttering Clusterfuck of a Miserable Failure and it can’t possibly be easy to spin your way out of him and his staff saying, within 24 hours, that they both have no fucking idea who this completely unknown to them Soptic guy is and having to admit that they actually played up the possibilities of his wife’s death as a campaign issue on a conference call and used this guy they’d never heard of before in a different ad.

But seriously, you don’t have to make it bloody damn well worse on yourself by pretending that you don’t even know what political affiliation a Democrat Super PAC has.

We don’t mind you doing so, it’s pure comedy gold. Not to mention that every single time you open your dumb yap and display that fucktastical failure of orthodontology that you call “teeth”, you completely and utterly bugger yourself, your party and your incompetent boss in ways so epic that the English language simply does not have words to describe it. Not one little bit. If we didn’t know that nobody can simulate lack of sentience in ways as convincing as the image that you effortlessly project every time sounds trip over your lips, we’d suspect you of being a GOP plant.

We could use the phrase “if you didn’t exist, we’d have to invent you”, but we won’t. There is simply no way in Hades that we could pass off such an invention as being even remotely real. Not even to your particular voter demographic, which has the collective IQ of a catfish. A particularly dumb catfish.

So do go on, Debbie Dunderhead, do go on. We beg you.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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