We mean, really. This is getting ridiculous. It’s like a paraplegic picking out the biggest guys in the bar and screaming “oh yeah? Suck my dick, because I’m gonna beat y’all’s asses!”

The Catholic Church (indeed anybody who gives a shit about freedom of religion, association and conscience), dissing the Unions in Wisconsin once he realized that he didn’t want the stench of defeat on him, taking a deuce in the cornflakes of Americans of every color and social strata by “evolving” into a gay president just in time to keep that sweet, pooftah Hollyweird money rolling in, pissing off every business owner in America, big and small, by telling them that they owe everything they have to Big Gummint and didn’t achieve jack diddly on their own, and now THIS?:

Obama, speaking Wednesday evening to the National Urban League, affirmed his belief in Americans’ right to own guns, but he singled out assault rifles as better suited for the battlefield.

“I believe the Second Amendment guarantees an individual the right to bear arms,” Obama said. “But I also believe that a lot of gun owners would agree that AK-47s belong in the hands of soldiers, not on the streets of our cities.”

We don’t know where to start, but we’ll get to the main point eventually. It’s just that Teh Stoopid™ is so Dumbfoundlingly Dense in that pile of verbal diarrhea that we feel strangely compelled to point out a few “minor” things first:

1) The last time anybody was murdered by a civilian in legal possession of an AK-47 in the United States was — NEVER. So we fail to see how banning legal possession of something that is already illegal unless you happen to have a Class 3 license is going to accomplish anything.

2) “Belong in the hands of soldiers?” Whose soldiers, pray tell. Once again, the Jug-Eared Marxist Dilettante is confused as to what country, exactly, it is that he’s president of, it would appear.

3) Yes, an AK-47 is, indeed, an actual “assault rifle.” It has a full auto setting. Which is why, coincidentally, it’s already illegal to possess unless you have the aforementioned Class 3 (also known as the Advanced FBI Proctoscopy™) license. The Aurora Subhuman wasn’t anywhere near an actual AK-47. And if he had been, he would have already been in violation of laws already on the books. What? You’re going to put full auto rifles on Super Double Secret Socialist Utopia of Next Tuesday Probation™, you insufferable twat?

But then, but then, having already won the World Series of Stoopid™, he walks up to the plate and hits a home run with bases loaded, just because he can, and puts himself in the middle of the biggest shitload of bad news coming by picking a fight, officially, with the NRA and every single American citizen who cares about the Second Amendment by threatening to revive the dead, dead corpse of the Weapons That Make Liberal Fascists Wet Their Diapers Ban™.

Congratulations, you dumb fuck, you just made sure that the only demographic still willing to support you is Markotz “Screw ‘Em” Moulitsas.

You are so very, very, very, VERY fucked, little one.

Oh sure, tomorrow we’re all going to hear how you “didn’t say that”, and it’s going to be every bit as successful as when you claimed that you didn’t say “you didn’t build that” when you, and we quote you directly, said “you didn’t build that.”

You just have to be the most inexcusably daft pile of pig’s droppings ever to step into a political arena. No fucking wonder that your college transcripts are a more closely guarded secret than what really went on at Area 51 or, for that matter, who really shot J.R. Ewing. You have the IQ of the congealed mess left over from a 24 hour bukkake marathon, the situational awareness of Publius Quinctilius “Oh What A Lovely Forest” Varus and all of the natural charm of a child molester at a junior swim meet.



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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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