Or should we call it “another nail in the coffin?”

We don’t know. When it comes to the Lapdog Media, we don’t think a coffin will do the trick. A stake through the heart is required as well. And decapitation. A bit of burning would be nice too. Until they turn nice and crispy. Not charred, mind you, just nice and crispy.

We guess ABC’s breathless reporting that the Aurora Mass Murdering Beast’s mom admitted to them that her son was definitely “the right person” wasn’t quite, how do you say it in the English, “accurate.”

This is how they reported it after having talked to her on the phone:

The woman, contacted at her home in San Diego, spoke briefly with ABC News and immediately expressed concern her son may be involved in the shooting death of at least 12 people overnight.

“You have the right person,” she said, apparently speaking on gut instinct. “I need to call the police… I need to fly out to Colorado.”

See? She just knew that her son was a borderline psychopath about to cross the line! She knew it, KNEW it, I tells ya! Must credit the infallible reporting of ABC!

Except, ahem, she doesn’t appear to agree with that interpretation all that much, as you’ll see if you follow the link and watch her announcement. It was more like “are you A, mother of B, who lives in Aurora?”, to which she answered “yes, you’ve got the right person” and then, we paraphrase, “what’s this all about and why are you calling me?”

Which would seem to us an entirely acceptable and believable response that we might have offered ourselves, even though we might, might have sprinkled with a bit of “fuckhead”, “twat”, “sod off, wanker”, “we know where you live” and “make your peace with G-d, you cocksucking, cold-calling bastard because nobody, nobody interrupts us during our 639th viewing of Firefly“, but that’s just because we’re so very, very lovable.

ABC, once they confirmed that the conversation wasn’t recorded, has decided to stand by their version of events, so we guess we’ll just have to believe them. After all, this is the news network that employs such fact-checking, truth-telling, impeccable luminaries of journalism as Brian Ross… Wait a minute. Never mind.

At this point, the only thing we can say is that if you believe a single word that you might hear on ABC… No, scratch that, if you’re even paying attention to anything coming from ABC, you need an intervention.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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