Not that we believe for one solitary second that whichever scumsucking, lowlife attorney defending the Aurora beast won’t try it, because that’s what they are and it’s what they do. Everything within their power to set animals loose back in the wild to commit more mayhem.

But it may be an uphill battle to make it work in court:

According to police sources, the same suspect who would not tell police a motive for the shooting did tell them that if they went to his apartment they might find explosives. Holmes didn’t mention it was a trap.

Investigators now believe that Holmes used a timer to set off loud techno music at the apartment just before midnight. It was meant to spur a noise complaint to police. The ruse theoretically would have drawn them into the apartment building, detonating a firebomb and then drawing all available police and rescue units to the other side of town before the shooting at the theater started. That would have allowed him more time to kill more people and left a much smaller police response to the theater shootings.

Yep, that sure sounds to us like a spur-of-the-moment psychotic meltdown brought about by cold toilet seats, Republican elementary school teachers and insufficient “access” to free healthcare. Not.

For all that planning, all that thinking about how to kill and all those questions that have been raised, police said Holmes isn’t talking.

Not trying to tell you how to do your jobs here, but that’s just because you’re not asking him the right way, if you get our drift. You do, after all, have a booby-trapped apartment on your hands in dire need of being disarmed, and we’re ever so sure that the smirking little devil would be more than happy to provide you with the information you need if he were just — motivated properly.

Drop us a note if you need a few pointers. We’d be happy to help. And in reply to your question before you even ask it: We’d sleep just fine afterwards, thank you very much.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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