His Imperial Majesty knows only too well the occasional urge to write about something because, well, that’s what we do, but sometimes we have to scratch our head and wonder just why the Hades some subjects are being beaten to death over and over again.

Such as the “Republicans are out-raising Democrats” which, of course, is a blatant lie, and then the endless posts, columns and articles about the ifs, whats, whens and, most importantly, whys regarding all of this. Not why the enemy is talking about it, it’s quite obvious, but why we are wasting time on it.

It’s all quite simple, really, so let’s just get it out of the way so we can spend our time on more worthy issues. Such as gun pr0n.

The Democrats are lying through their teeth about their baby boy being out-raised for two reasons and two reasons only.

1) Letting your potential donors believe that you’re about to be crushed, crushed by an avalanche of filthy lucre pouring into your enemy’s coffers is a damn sight more motivating than telling them that you’re swimming in it yourself. This goes double when your potential donors have grown somewhat lukewarm on you and aren’t really sure that they want to spend a dime on you in the first place. You don’t see very many panhandlers starting their spiel with “I’ve got a lot of money, but can you spare a few?” For the same reason that you don’t see them parked out in a foldout chair next to a Beemer with a “will work for food” sign. Yes, we know, it’s baffling.

“But he didn’t do that the last time.” No, he didn’t. Because the last time he wasn’t the presumptive underdog whom nobody really likes with a record he can’t run on, so he didn’t need to. He was a nice, blank canvas that the media and the gullible fiddy2ers could paint anything on that they liked, not to mention that they were fired up by a religious fervor that would have made them throw money at him even if he’d told them not to.

Yes, the Obamessiah is the underdog in line for an epic ass-kicking come November, no matter how many fake polls and eeyorish Allahpundit posts you try to quote to disprove it. For one thing, we don’t for the life of us understand why anybody in the world, at least on our side, even pay attention to polls anymore. Ever since John Fuckface al-Qerry (and quite possibly since before that) it’s been the same pattern: The polls are ridiculously wrong, everybody on our side mock them mercilessly for being worthless and then, a couple of years later, those same people are using them as fuel for innumerable posts about how we’re all doomed, woe is us and we’ve lost already. If that’s not bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, then we don’t know what is.

Don’t believe it? No incumbent with his numbers and presiding over much smaller clusterfucks than he’s presiding over have ever won re-election. Democrat Congress-apes are disinviting themselves by the bushel load from his coronation ceremony at the DNC convention, citing excuses ranging from a need to wax their legs to needing to spend more time with their families. Heck, in the run-up to the 2010 midterms, they were actively trying to avoid being caught within six zip codes of his worthless carcass for fear that his proximity would hurt their chances. And the list goes on and on, yet people are still seriously babbling about how he’s not the underdog. After all, the Ogabe Steno Pool, formerly known as the MSM, say so and if they do, then it has to be true, no?

Don’t get us wrong. This doesn’t mean that we have any room to become complacent or start bringing the ball-dipping pudding to room temperature yet, they don’t call the GOP the Stupid Party for no good reason and they have a history of wresting defeat from the jaws of victory, but could we please dispense with the notion that Herr Ogabe isn’t facing an uphill battle?

2) He needs something to run on. He sure as Hades can’t run on his record, so he has to find something else. And boy have they been looking wide and far for that elusive “something.” The “War on Women”, the “Dog on the Roof”, the “Weird Mormons”, “Bain Capital” and here lately the “Swiss Bank Accounts.” All of which have blown up in the porcine faces of the Democrat National Socialists, much to the amusement of us all. “Evil Capitalists are Buying our Elections” will just have to do for them for now. Until that blows up too, which would take only five minutes for a halfway competent conservative campaign to accomplish. They could start with how Brrrack Hussein “Billion Dollar Campaign” Ogabe deliberately disabled credit card verification routines on his campaign website both in ’08 and’12 to allow foreign nationals to contribute to him and to allow domestic nationals to contribute more than the law allows them to. Sprinkle union spending, George Soros and Bob knows what else on top and… BOOM.

But that doesn’t mean they won’t try because they’re desperate. And they have every reason to be. You can smell it, and you don’t even have to try at all.

The only ones who don’t appear to be able to see that are our own pundits, or they would have stopped pontificating about it a long time ago.

And that’s the last we’ll say about that, because it really is that bloody trivial.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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