A day without somebody delivering a much-deserved and always welcome smackdown upon the TransportSicherheitsAmt (TSA) is like a day without sunshine, and today delivered. Sunshine-wise, that is. A hapless air traveler’s response to the TSA “Customer Service” response form:

I am not your ‘customer.’

• “What you’re doing isn’t ‘service.’

• ” ‘Subject’ is a more appropriate term than ‘customer.’ I am a “customer” of the airlines I fly. The TSA stands between me and the airline with a credible threat that they will not let us conduct business unless I go through a ludicrous song-and-dance routine that involves partially disrobing and then either being subjected to nude imaging or a full-on groping that involves hand-to-genital contact.

• I can think of a lot of words to describe the whole experience. ‘Service’ isn’t one of them.

I have two small children, and a third on the way. Fortunately, in the times we’ve flown with them, the worst thing we’ve dealt with is a few seconds in which my son was unsure what was going on when his teddy bear had to go through the X-ray machine. I hate to think about the nightmare some parents have gone through with how their kids have been treated by TSA screeners.

You can read the rest of it if you really need your blood pressure raised by the examples of molestation and other variations of assault, sexual and otherwise, but you won’t learn nothing you didn’t know about the TSA already. Still, it might help stoke up your righteous anger once more. Our particular “favorite” among the examples of TSA abuse, a string of abuses so long by now that we’ve lost count, is the one about the 7-year-old girl with cerebral palsy who was sexually assaulted by “wonderful TSA just plain working men and women trying to make a buck” because her braces precluded her going through the metal detector. She was too young, no boobs you know, to make it worth the TSA pervs’ while to send her through the Nude-O-Matic whole body scanner, after all, so they had to send her to another TSA “just wonderful person” who could grope her nethers.

And a “federalized, professionalized” TSA pedophile’s needs just can’t be denied. Because… 9/11!

After all, if it hadn’t been for all of those unselfish, hardworking TSA goons “just follivink orderz”, our entire nation would have been brought to its knees by Caucasian, 7-year-old cerebral palsy victims commandeering planes into sky scrapers, right?

Has anything been done to rein in the TSA molesters? Of course not. Fuck, the Attorney General can get off with murdering hundreds of Mexican innocents and a couple of U.S. border patrol agents just trying to do their jobs while the Gentry GOP sit around squabbling about “civility” and “unhelpfulness.” Who gives a fuck about serial molesters being paid by the federal government to get their rocks off?

They should all be tried and, if found guilty, be shot.

In the face.

With buckshot.

Then their remains should be put up for public display.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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