Listen, faux squaw, you can quit digging now, m’kay?

Although if you insist on breaking out the backhoe, by all means be our guest. We enjoy the laugh.

Democratic Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren acknowledged for the first time late Wednesday night that she told Harvard University and the University of Pennsylvania that she was Native American, but she continued to insist that race played no role in her recruitment.

“At some point after I was hired by them, I . . . provided that information to the University of Pennsylvania and Harvard,’’ she said in a statement issued by her campaign.

OK, we’re trying to keep track here. So originally she did check off the “American Indian” box when she applied, which would have been prior to her hiring, but that she most definitely DIDN’T do so to get a leg up in the hiring process. Yes, we know, we’re still laughing our Imperial Arse off over that one. And now she didn’t check it off but provided the lie at some later point in time after being hired because, well, clearly that means she wasn’t gaming the system, right?

We mean, she pretty much had to admit to having provided Haaaahvuhd with the info since they themselves were later bragging publicly about having an Honest to Bob American Indian on the faculty, somebody had to have told them, unless she was trying to claim that it was Haaaahvuhd who made the whole shit up which might, understandably, make Haaaahvuhd “testy.”

And then, because we clearly remember this, there’s this whole thing about how she called herself an Injun because she desperately wanted to hook up with people who were “like her” (as long as it didn’t actually involve attending any of the widely publicized meetings of Native Americans on campus, that is), so now we’re to believe that she never said a word about her heritage until she was hired, then told Haaaahvuhd about it because she wanted to make contact with others “like her” and then she proceeded to do Jack diddly fucking squat to make that happen.

Right. Sure. Of course. It’s all so bloody clear to us now, Elizabeth Fauxcahontas Shitting Bull Warren. Your Spirit Journey through Academe is truly a fascinating one, we must admit.

If you’re studying “Most Laughably Obvious Made Up Sea Stories in the History of the United States”, that is.

And then she adds, just because that hole she’s in apparently needs a few feet of additional depth:

“My Native American heritage is part of who I am, I’m proud of it and I have been open about it.’’


So proud of it, in fact, that you’ve utterly failed, deliberately so, to explore, examine and confirm it, and so open about it that your story has changed more times over the past two weeks than the readout on my digital alarm clock.

Keep it up, Dances With Bullshit, keep it up. You’re EPICALLY hilarious!


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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