So Illinois is facing having to cut down on their generous bennies unless they somehow come up with some more of other people’s money.

But hey, no problem right? Just raise taxes!

The sponsor of the cigarette tax, House Majority Leader Barbara Flynn Currie, D-Chicago, told the House Human Services Committee before the floor vote that without the cigarette tax hike, “we will have to go back and make further cuts . . . draconian cuts in the Medicaid system.”

A $1.98 state cigarette tax would put Illinois somewhat above the national average of $1.46 per pack, and far higher than Missouri’s lowest-in-the-nation 17 cents per pack. Missouri voters will decide in November whether to raise that tax to 90 cents.

And a year from now they will all be tearing their hair, wondering why on Earth their new revenue never materialized but took a serious hit instead as the good people of Illinois stopped buying smokes inside their own state.

“Who could have foreseen? How is this happening?”

And then they’ll hike taxes again, of course, since “robbing the people more” is the only answer they have to any problem they encounter, being inbred, sub-retarded, lowest 10th percentile knuckle draggers who, were they ever forced to go apply for a real job, would starve to death in a fortnight.

It’s the same case in California where Governor Moonbeam, after scratching his head over the “mystery” of revenues dropping after his massive tax hikes to pay his union friends’ lavish pensions (here’s a hint, you daft dork: It may have something to do with every business that can flee having fled your retarded state. Due to your tax hikes, natch), has decided that the only solution to this confounding problem is to hike taxes some more.

Not that us Texans mind, but if you don’t slow it down a bit, Governor Moonbat, we’re going to get overcrowded with all of the refugee Californian businesses setting up shop here.

But back to sin taxes: If the government of Illinois wants to milk the tobacco cow some more, then here’s how you do it: figure out the tobacco tax in your neighboring states, then lower your own to just below theirs. Sit back and watch the revenue roll in.

Of course that’s never going to happen, since lowering taxes is to liberal fascists what garlic and holy water is to vampires.

But there you have it, you tumblefucked twats, your free advice of the day.

You’re welcome.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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