It seems like the Imperial Consigliere has offered up some consiglierying pro bono to Stuttering Clusterfuck Of A Miserable Failure regarding the proper response to Karzai’s whining and screeching over American troops burning Haji Message Delivery Systems.

Unfortunately, SCOAMF didn’t make use of the generous offer.

But WE would have. Oh yes indeed we would!


Oh, and while we’re on the subject of apologies, here’s one that we wholly endorse:

His Imperial Majesty is sorry too. He’s sorry that we wasted untold billions of taxpayer funds and, what’s infinitely worse, American lives trying to bring your fucking miserable hell hole of a backwards heap of barbarian shit into, at the very least, the 12th century. His Imperial Majesty is sorry because a few ICBMs would have achieved more than that at a fraction of the cost and we would never, EVER have had to waste a moment of time on the sensibilities of your newly created field of glowing glass. We’re sorry that you’re still sucking air, and we’re enormously sorry that we, somehow, gave you the impression that we give a flying fuck at a rolling donut whether you live or die.

I, like hundreds of thousands, lost somebody whom I grew up with, served with and had beers with because he volunteered to try to drag your pile of manure of a country, kicking and screaming, out of the 6th century. He left behind a wife and three daughters. He died, not in combat with the enemy which is something that a soldier can relate to and accept, it’s part of the job, but while on patrol in one of the sad excuses for human habitats that you ignorant savages call towns. He wasn’t threatening anybody, he wasn’t “kicking in doors in the middle of the night, terrorizing women and children” as the Democrat Socialist Workers’ Party of the United States like to characterize our troops’ heroic efforts, he was just trying to make sure that nobody was getting killed. Until one of the pigs that you’re SOOOOO concerned about decided that it would be right and proper to blow him and his fellow troopers up.

We’re sorry that that happened. We’re sorry that every single soul involved in that massacre wasn’t tortured to death in ways that the human mind is unable to comprehend. We’re sorry that your vile, barbarian death cult of a “faith” hasn’t been banned with an automatic death penalty to whomever might even think about saying a nice word about it. We’re sorry that our good friend’s daughters will have to grow up without a father because your countrymen didn’t have, and never had, the guts to fight.

We’re even more sorry that Washington DC is populated entirely by limp-wristed, metrosexual fucks who are fundamentally incapable of correcting that particular misunderstanding, but we can promise you that it won’t always be so. So, if we were you, we’d just take the money and run for the nearest cave. Perhaps, PERHAPS if you lie low for long enough and play dead, we WON’T remember all of the insufferable bullshit you put us through for well over a decade.

Then again, perhaps we will remember. Either way, we don’t give a fuck, you pedophile pile of prick drippings.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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