Now that we feel a bit better (nothing like an F-5 hyperbole-laced full-on frustration rant to get your blood pressure down again) we note (via Cold Fury) that President No Gas has yet another pie in the sky alternative to fuel that we’re sure will soon see multi-billion dollar subsidies (as long as the recipients donated heavily to the NSDWP, of course) that will then disappear into thin air.


President Obama admitted today that he does not have a “silver bullet” solution for skyrocketing gas prices,

But the rest of us, at least those of us with a functional brain, do: It’s called “November 2012.”

but he proposed alternative energy sources such as “a plant-like substance, algae” as a way of cutting dependence on oil by 17 percent.

“We’re making new investments in the development of gasoline, diesel, and jet fuel that’s actually made from a plant-like substance, algae — you’ve got a bunch of algae out here,” Obama said at the University of Miami today.

And we’ve got an even bigger “bunch” of oil and gas out there just waiting to be drilled, and only waiting because you’re holding up progress, you ghetto trash scumbag. The difference between your algae and the oil and gas already there? The latter are actually proven sources of fuel available right fucking now, as opposed to your Magic Bean Fuel™ which may or may not become commercially viable in the next umpty-nine decades.

“Never worry, comrades! The wonderful world of Utopia of Next Tuesday™ (thanks, People’s Cube) is just around the corner!”

Oh yes. Whatever. Just one more five year plan and all will be well as True Socialism™ finally arrives! In the meantime, paycheck to paycheck-living people of America, you’re on your fucking own. Just suck it up and smile, knowing that Ear Leader Chocolate Jesus has a Plan™.

Oh, and as an aside: Nobody in the mainstream Marxist media is making any noise about President Five-Year-Old’s numerous fantasy fuel schemes, yet we’re all supposed to roll our eyes and laugh at Newt “Moon Base” Gingrich? Really? At least Newt is talking about technology that currently fucking exists!

“We’re not going to transition out of oil anytime soon,” Obama added, before touting the record high domestic gas production right now and the agreement with Mexico to drill in the Gulf of Mexico, while still calling for expanded investment in alternative energy.

So let’s see if we got that right: We’re financing, with U.S. taxpayer funds, assistance to Mexico so they can drill for the resources that our own companies aren’t allowed to drill for? So we can then buy the oil from them that we helped pay for already? And that ignorant fuckweasel cuntmuffin buttskate is bragging about that?

We submit that it is no longer a question of whether his racist “typical white person” grandma accidentally dropped him on his head when he was still small enough to be flushed out the toilet with his sibling turds. We only regret that she didn’t drop him hard enough. Like, say, from 50 stories up. Onto concrete. Preferably a highway. With heavy, mostly 18-wheeler traffic. And perhaps a steam roller or two thrown in for good measure.

Jumping Jehosaphat on a nuclear-powered Pogo stick is this nation ever farked!


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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