We knew this was going to happen and the rest of y’all knew it too: The moment Newt obliterated their Golden Idol in SC, they’d go into full panic mode as a result of their store front plastic mannequin perennial loser “inevitable electable” candidate getting a Swift Kick to the Electability™.

And it’s been hilariously fun to watch, and nowhere better to watch it than at Mitt Romney Central™, Hot Air.

On Newt commenting on the New Rule of Debates™, which is that the audience has to exhibit the same forced indifference as the Soviet audience of a Beatles concert (and yes, we remember those days when Soviet subjects were prohibited from expressing their enthusiasm, for much the same reasons that the DNCMedia suddenly won’t allow expressions of enthusiasm now that they’ve realized that their preferred candidate, Mittens, isn’t helped in the least bit audience participation):

Free speech? Meh. The media does not stifle free speech; these debates are their events, their forums, and they have every right to set the rules for participation in them, for both the candidates (with whom they negotiate) and the audience. Free speech does not mean that NBC has to broadcast cheering sections. It’s a false and silly argument. If Gingrich or any of the other candidates choose not to participate in these media events, that’s their prerogative, of course. If people in the audience don’t like the rules, they don’t have to sit there, either.

That’s right, Ed. And then we could all have endlessly televised debates that were about as popular as Keith Olberdouche’s Countdown. Progress! Because if there is one thing we don’t want, then it’s voters actually giving a shit about the candidates they’re asked, no commanded to vote for by the Party Intelligentsia. Because… WINNING! You’re absolutely right that the media are under no obligations to allow anything at their events, just as His Imperial Majesty would be well within his rights to delete every comment that he doesn’t agree with on his site, but we hardly think that that’s what open discussion is all about.

But hey, when popularity is something that your preferred candidate doesn’t have, then it makes sense to shut down any expression of popular support, so we see where you’re coming from.

Elsewhere, Allahpundit, fresh out of smelling salts now that Prince Fabulous Hair has taken one to his perfectly coiffed toupee, is doing the same as the rest of the RINOcracy: Casting about for somebody who can defeat that horribly, dreadfully gauche and, dare we say?, popular Newt plebeian. Mitch Daniels (who the fuck is he again? other than another loser who didn’t bother to run?), Jeb Bush, Allahpundit’s neighbor Suzy Rottencrotch, as long as it ISN’T that horrid, ABOMINABLE Newt Monster. But Allahpundit, in his defense, does have some serious misgivings as to his viability as the Candidate Who Will Save Us From Those Bucktoothed, Blue Collar Hicks Who Give a Shit™:

If Daniels got in tomorrow, Newt would cast him as a pawn thrust into the race at the eleventh hour by panicked elitists to hold back the populist tide after Romney failed to do so.

Mainly because he would, obviously, be a pawn thrust into the race at the eleventh hour by panicked Allahpundits to hold back the populist (remember when “listening to what the public wants as opposed to just doing whatever the fuck you wanted because those stupid hicks don’t know what’s good for them” became a swear word?) tide after Romney failed to elicit anything resembling emotion in anybody. But other than that, it’s all FILTHY, DIRTY, EMOTIONAL TEA BAGGER HOBBIT LIES!

Listen, we’re not exactly thrilled that Newt is the least horrible choice at this point, but maybe things would have been different if solid conservative candidates like Rick Perry hadn’t been endlessly savaged by suggesting that his inability to come up with an answer for all of 50 HORRIBLE seconds on a game show far outweighed his solid record of executive success as governor of one of the few remaining states in the union worth living in, bullshit fed into by sites like Hot Air. Maybe Herman Cain, another solidly conservative candidate would still be in the race if sites like Hot Gas hadn’t been spending weeks of 267 times daily updates on granting legitimacy to uncorroborated claims made by bankrupt, deadbeat, serial whiner whores?

Maybe. Just maybe.

And now they’re stuck with the fact that Mr. Plastic Fantastic, a guy who has only ever refused to change his point of view on ONE position, ObamneyCare, an unmitigated disaster for the state he was governing at the time, but has flip-flopped on everything else because, “for Pete’s sakes, I’m running for president!”, just isn’t polling too well with voters who don’t seem to agree with their retread of the 2008 “inevitable” McCain meme, and they’re all scrambling to find some other RINO fuckweasel to carry their banner for them.

I’m with Bill Quick on this one.

Let them TRY to go for a Hail Mary by putting up yet another Business as Usual, Go-Along-To-Get-Along RINO substitute. If the fucker fails, they’ll be done for, and if they succeed, the Stupid Party will be history as nobody with an ounce of sense will ever vote for any of their forced-down-our-throats “inevitable” candidates again.

Either way, the United States of America wins.

And that is all that I care about.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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