Because, dammit, Mittens McSteamy-Hair is so goshdarn fabulous and all! And electable!

Still, Newt’s slap down of Juan Williams and the response, not to mention that Newt dares to campaign on a standing ovation, seems to have dear Allahpundit reaching for his smelling salts.

He did well enough last night that I can understand him wanting to turn his biggest moment into an ad. What I don’t understand is how this supports the argument that “only Newt Gingrich can beat Obama.”

Here’s a few pointers for you, Allahpundit darlin’: Voter sentiment matters. It matters more, even, than who the Beltway Cocktail Party keeps telling us on automatic repeat is the only “electable” candidate. Believe it or not, but one of the many things that motivate people to go pull a lever on election day, one of the more important ones at that, is how enthusiastic they are about the candidate and, sorry to have to break it to you, but “shut your mouths, you Hobbit Tea Party extremists, Mittens is the Only Man Who Can Beat Obama™” isn’t among the things that fire people up to waste time going to the polls.

Watching a candidate state, frankly, what all of us think on a daily basis without carefully couching it in poll-tested ambiguous terms DOES, on the other hand, and we should think that the standing ovation that pretty much shut the debate down last night would be a perfect example of such. At least to somebody who doesn’t grovel at Hugh Hewitt and Jennifer Rubin’s feet every time they share their wisdom from on high.

There’s going to be a fight once the primaries are over, a fight between two candidates, and if one of the two has proven as Mittens has time and time again, without exception, that he’s not going to show up in the ring, then we might as well just declare the other guy the winner by default. Remember president McCain? Neither do we. There’s your Clue™, Allahpundit.

Santorum would be plenty tough on The One in a general-election campaign and, unlike Newt, Santorum isn’t saddled with a toxic favorable rating.

Quoting the Weakly Romney Standard is only going to give you a bullshit flag and an automatic 15 yard penalty, so please cease and desist. You’re only making yourself look foolish.

Call us a hopeless cynic, but after McVain’s smashing “success” in 2008, we’ll have to swallow not just a grain, but a whole barrel of salt before we take their “analysis” serious in any way, ever again.

Still, in fairness, you do have a point about Santorum’s success. Still, it’s strange to us to see you suddenly promoting him.

Unless it’s a desperate effort to keep the NotRomney vote split for long enough for your fair haired boy to win by default. We have to wonder.

Meanwhile, it’s Romney who consistently polls best against Obama head to head

We guess we’re going to have to address this since it’s the argument that the MittBots never fail to pull out of their arses in defense of their boy (because it’s really all that they have).

1) If those polls were even remotely as predictive as you MittBots keep claiming they are in your pathetic attempts to get us Visigoth “purists” to fall in line, then Jimmy Carter would have coasted comfortably into his second term. So kindly stick it where the sun doesn’t shine because, quite frankly, it’s getting old. We’d urge you to find a different argument but, again, we know that it’s all that you’ve got.

2) The relentless bombardment from blow-dried talking head RINOcracy members does have an effect on polls like that since the majority of voters aren’t as addicted to politics as we are. If they keep telling people that Mittens McRomneyCare is the Only One™, then it will have an effect on polling. At least prior to the only poll that matters, which is the actual vote. Just as relentlessly bombarding everybody with “the moon is made of green cheese” would, inevitably, move the percentage of people who believe it is upwards. No lie, if repeated often enough, is too outrageous to have any effect at all.

3) Mittens McRomneyCare remains, mysteriously, the only candidate who hasn’t been lied about, slandered, misquoted and attacked on just about everything, most of it made up out of whole cloth, by the 99% majority of the media that are so far left that Stalin would be ashamed to be associated with them. Wonder why that is?

No, you don’t have to answer, even though it’s as obvious as the nose on your face unless you think that the LSM bait and switch on McVain in 2008 was a completely unpredictable and singular event, never to be repeated in all of time.

That’s not the point. The point is self-evident: Being the only candidate NOT attacked IS going to help you in the polls. Imagine that! Extrapolating from that to think that this is going to still be the fact if the Untouched Candidate running against Black Jesus gets the nomination… Let’s just say that, other than the fact that your knowledge of history doesn’t even four reach four years back in time, you’re obviously more stupid than a particularly demented sack of dumb hammers.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me sixteen quadrillion times, please somebody shoot me before I piss up the gene pool any further.

Seriously? You really, honestly think that Mittens ObamneyBot’s favorable ratings are going to last past sixteen nanoseconds after he graciously accepts his “inevitable” nomination? You seriously believe that the reason they haven’t been savaging him like they did every single other candidate already is that the DNC and LSM (but we repeat ourself) don’t have three warehouses full of pre-canned, pre-filmed, pre-screened attack ads ready to roll? Do you believe in Santa Claus too? Are you really, REALLY that fucking DUMB? Get out of the pool, plebe, it’s Adult Swim™ time and you don’t even qualify for Fetal Flailings™.

You’ve already seen some of the attacks against him, and those are only the ones fielded by his fellow candidates which, unlike the inevitable ones that will be pushed as soon as he grabs the nomination, at least have the advantage of being based on facts.

See how his “inevitable” and “electable” numbers do a week after you morons have managed to pull another McVain on our once proud Republic. Then get back to us. But don’t do it in person, please. We can’t answer for our response in that case.

…and whose campaign machinery would give Team O its toughest test.

How, exactly? What are they going to campaign on. On what issue, exactly, does Mittens ObamneyCare differ from Obama his own satanic self in any meaningful fashion? ObamaCare? Mittens designed it and recommended it for national implementation (before his focus group polling told him he shouldn’t). Jobs? He sure has an impressive record of getting rid of them, doesn’t he? And we’re only talking about the actual facts, but also the ones that Ogabe is going to make up with the willing assistance of his wholly owned subsidiary, the LSM. The Church of Glowbull Wormening? He was for it (until he decided, stealing a page from president Kerry’s (oops) playbook, that he was against it). You name it. The only thing that Ogabe has to say in any debate of his with Mittens ObamneyCare is “thank you for your support”, which we’re sure is REALLY going to fire up Republican voters.

Think about it. Not to over-emphasize Newt’s standing ovation last night (and on other occasions where he let it rip), but the only time your “inevitable” and “only electable” candidate, Mittens McSilverSpoon, got a standing ovation for anything was at home when he made his first #2 on the potty without shitting all over the marble.

The real promise Newt is making here, I think, is that as nominee he’ll hit Obama the hardest (not just a bloody nose but a knockout!) and in the least politically correct ways, which is gratifying if you loathe The One and the media but no guarantee of victory given Gingrich’s other shortcomings.

Which is also the only thing likely to get anybody to vote for somebody who isn’t Black Jesus.

You think that those phone banks and pavement-pounding door-to-door campaigns just man themselves? You really think that citizens of this nation are going to decide that they have nothing better to do than to spend time they’re never going to get back campaigning for somebody who is, after the Alinsky LSM Death Star is finished with him, in no way discernible from his opponent other than the letter after his name (and that’s in the utopian best case scenario where the LSM doesn’t go completely ballistic on McRomneyCare)?

McVain, anybody? Doesn’t anybody pay attention anymore?

And don’t give us “but the LSM is going to savage any opponent to Black Jesus”, because that isn’t the point. Of course they are. But the difference is in whether the candidate savaged has somebody motivated enough to go to bat for him. And, let’s face it, outside of the metrosexual enclave of New York that Allahpundit inhabits, Americans aren’t going to stand up for anybody who can’t swing a punch. Pussies don’t count. We like seeing somebody who knows how to fight, and that’s one of the reasons that leftist Prognaziism has been so successful in this country, because the RINO pussies on the other side never had the stones to defend themselves. Reagan and Dubya did, and that’s how they succeeded.

And Newt, for all of his faults, and there are many, at least knows how to fight.

Want a campaign where multiple news cycles are consumed with why the nominee thinks Obama has a “Kenyan anti-colonial” mindset even as we’re getting totally out-organized on the ground?

Want one where every single news item is “the Republican designed ObamaCare” who is a “silver spoon fortunate son” who “likes to fire people” and who belongs to a “cult?”

After a couple of months of those lies, they’d elect Satan over Mittens.

Don’t shoot the messenger. We’re only telling you how this is going to play out.

And don’t fucking even THINK about bothering us with “we never thought they’s stoop as low as…” after Ogabe is re-elected, because you’re then so fucking ignorant that we’re not sure that we’d even be able to communicate with you without rolling in our own shit and flinging some of it at you.

By the way, how did we get to the point where a candidate whose popularity famously plummeted as Speaker is now selling himself on electability?

You’re talking about said candidate running against Romney O-Loser who lost 15 out of the 17 races he ever dared enter and who is known mainly for having lost to Chappaquiddick Kennedy while trying to run to the LEFT of him.

Shit, who can hope to compete against THAT track record?

We’re Americans, and we are the most generous and fierce people in the world when it counts. For the first part, I’ve witnessed it numerous times and I’ve been the recipient of that generosity myself as well as witnessed it and been a participant on behalf of others. For the second part, just ask Imperial Japan and Nazi Germany.

The one thing we CANNOT abide are losers. Spineless, pathetic fucks who won’t even fight for themselves. I, as a proud American, will do whatever I can to help those who will do all within their power to help themselves. If that power is nothing, I will proudly help them anyway until they are in such a position that they CAN help themselves. I see it as my American responsibility to help those who CANNOT help themselves. But I have no such obligation toward those who WILL not. Likewise, I will proudly fight on the side of anybody who, believing in our sacred values of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, do their utmost to advance those values.

But I will not lift a damn finger for those who think that they’re ENTITLED to that support, who try to bully me into fighting their fight while they stay safely out of the scrum, who think that I somehow OWE them a damn thing. Because I don’t. No free man or woman owes ANYBODY anything.

So fuck you, Mittens.

If you want my support, you better get started on earning it.

At least your opponents in this primary race are trying to do just that. You, on the other hand, seem to think that I OWE it to you simply because you’re Not-Ogabe and because the RINOcracy tells me that I do.

I have my differences with all of the NotRomneys and I’m quite frankly appalled that Governor Perry isn’t doing any better. His record, and that of the state which he governs, speak for themselves.

But all three of them, Newt, Santorum and Perry, have one thing in common: They’re willing to FIGHT.

Mittens the Ogabe cum dumpster doesn’t.

Let’s see how the SC primaries turn out. If Governor Perry still fails to make a good showing in the first state that isn’t a tiny one-horse town or a liberal stronghold, then he ought to drop out to help keep Mittens from winning. I hate saying this, but I’m saying it anyway because the best way to get Ogabe another term is to get Mittens on the ticket.

Again, remember 2008 and the “inevitable” McVain.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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