So Michelle-My Belle, the First Wookie sent me an e-mail (Yeah I know, I AM special like that.)

John —

as in Galt, John Galt. I wonder if anyone will ever catch that when they look at the e-mail roster.

I am thrilled to make sure you are the first to hear some very exciting news.

Lil ole me! The FOIST! You like me, you really like me!

Charlotte, North Carolina, will host the 46th Democratic National Convention in 2012.

What did Charlotte ever do to you?

Charlotte is a city marked by its southern charm, warm hospitality, and an “up by the bootstraps” mentality that has propelled the city forward as one of the fastest-growing in the South.

And they simply can’t let that stand. So infest it with a shit pot full of hippie maggots, that aught teach ’em to be so, so…American.

Vibrant, diverse, and full of opportunity, the Queen City is home to innovative, hardworking folks with big hearts and open minds. And of course, great barbecue.

I thought you had banned barbecue, something about not being healthy for the plebes. Guess it’s okay for the Ruling Class™ elites though huh?

Barack and I spent a lot of time in North Carolina during the campaign —

And the state has had a peculiar stench even since.

from the Atlantic Coast to the Research Triangle to the Smoky Mountains and everywhere in between. Barack enjoyed Asheville so much when he spent several days preparing for the second presidential debate that our family vacationed there in 2009.

That ain’t saying much, tell me someplace you didn’t vacation in 2009.

And my very first trip outside of Washington as First Lady Saquatch

But certainly not the last, each more grandiose and expensive than the last.

was to Fort Bragg, where I started my effort to do all we can to help our heroic military families.

I just puked a little in my mouth.

All the contending cities were places that Barack and I have grown to know and love,

as we flew over them in Air Force One. They look so quaint when you can fly high enough to avoid the stench of the commoners.

so it was a hard choice. But we are thrilled to be bringing the convention to Charlotte.

Have you asked how Charlotte feels about what you’re bring it? Imagine they would say something along the lines of “Well bless yer lil ol hearts. Thanks for stopping by now y’all. Leave your wallets and see yerselves out, and don’t y’all come back now, y’hear”

We hope many of you can join us in Charlotte the week of September 3rd, 2012.

Be careful what you hope for.

But if you can’t, we intend to bring the spirit of the convention — as well as actual, related events to your community and even your own backyard.

Sounds like a threat, don’t it?

More than anything else, we want this to be a grassroots convention for the people. We will finance this convention differently than it’s been done in the past,

100% Soros funded this time.

and we will make sure everyone feels closely tied in to what is happening in Charlotte. This will be a different convention, for a different time.

To help us make sure this is a grassroots convention — The People’s Convention —

Don’t those generally lead to Politburo’s and Gulag’s? And crotch rot?

we need to hear from you.

Why? You still haven’t listened from what we yelled load and clear last November.

We want to know what you’d like to see at next year’s convention,

Take a look at Cairo.

how and where you plan on watching it —

Playing one of those delightful drinking games where you take a slug every time you hear another empty liberal platitude. I would say every time you hear a blatant lie, but even my alcohol soaked system has limits. You can die from too much of that stuff y’know?

Oh, and loading magazines. High capacity ones. You know, those “clips that let you spray fire  from the hip, created to be used in trench warfare.” (Warning, don’t click that link unless you are truly immune to Teh Stoopid.)

and the very best way we can engage your friends and neighbors.

Engage? Ain’t that a military term?!!! Where’s the CIVILITY™?!

I can’t believe it has been more than two years since my brother Craig introduced me at the 2008 Convention in Denver. It truly feels like it was yesterday.

Amazing the damage that can be done in so short of time.

As I looked out at a sea of thousands of supporters that night, I spoke about my husband — the man whom this country would go on to elect as the 44th president of the United States. I spoke about his fundamental belief — a conviction at the very core of his life’s work — that each of us has something to contribute to the spirit of our nation.

“From each according to his ability…”

That’s also the belief at the core of The People’s Convention. That the table we sit at together ought to be big enough for everyone.

Except those nasty right wingers spreading their hate. And the plebes. They’re so common after all.

That the thread that binds us — a belief in the promise of this country — is strong enough to sustain us through good times and bad.

And they’re pushing the bad part of the equation to the hilt.

The rest is just boring tripe about Ogabe’s “vision for Amerika”, a whole lot of words that say absolutely nothing. Pretty much what I expect the Charlotte obsequiousfest 2012 to be as well.

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By LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E.

Former USMC infantryman, proud father of a current USMC infantryman and two Princesses who know what that means. Currently an NRA law enforcement firearms instructor, radar instructor, CPR instructor, a few others but you get the point. Catholic, conservative, heterosexual, gun owner, anything I can do to piss off liberals.

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