Seems the Domodedovo attack wasn’t the first such attempt, only the first one turned out… poorly for the wannabe explodulator (h/t LC Intellectual Conservative).
The “Black Widow” bomber, who may belong to the group that attacked Moscow’s Domodedovo airport on Monday, planned to set off her suicide belt near Red Square, potentially killing hundreds of people, the newspaper reported.
And this is where the story takes a… fucking HILARIOUS turn:
Instead, security sources believe that a text message wishing the woman a happy new year from her mobile phone provider set off the explosives hours before the planned attack, The Daily Telegraph said.
“There, all set. The cursed infidels will rue the day, RUE THE DAY, I tell you! Wait, is that my phone rin…”
*BOOM!*
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAH!
Listen, dear LCs, the next time we get one of those automated “to our valued customers” greetings, we promise, PROMISE we won’t get pissed off!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHA!
“Death by courtesy call…”
Thatisall.