That pretty much describes how we feel and no, in case you’re wondering, we didn’t watch it either. If we want to watch that sort of thing, we’ll hit YouTube up for old videos of Mussolini. We really don’t need to waste our time with his understudy.
But we did catch a few highlights from the brave souls who risked lowering their IQs by sitting through the interminable blather-fest, such as his “brave, fiscally responsible promise to freeze the federal budget.”
Right after having kicked up discretionary spending by 85% with his recklessly stupid, disastrous socialist schemes. Big whoop. We’re sure the Empress would be just as impressed with us if we were to come home from the Ferrari dealership in a brand new Testarossa, promising her that we’d “freeze” our spending right now, this instant, just to show how serious we were about our household’s spending limits.
Oh, and then there was his “iron-clad” promise to veto any future legislation with earmarks in it, to which Purple Avenger came up with the most perfect example of the Rhetorical Question™ in the recorded history of mankind:
We mean, it HAD to be a rhetorical question, right? At least unless you’d spent the last three years or so under a rock. On Neptune. In a coma.
If there are any individuals out there who still believe a single, solitary word and much less a “promise” that comes out of Ogabe’s big, fat yap, then we’d very much appreciate it if you’d get the Hades out of our gene pool. Right now.
As to the rest? “Let’s solve education problems by throwing even more money at an utterly failed school system that we’re already throwing more money at than any other civilized nation”, blah, blah, blah, and “it’s time to wave the Magic Wand of Government (+7 against Fiddy2ers and other sub-sentient creatures) and create, out of thin air, the free, super-efficient energy source that has been eluding tens of thousands of highly motivated researchers for decades but hey, I’m the LightWorker, The Lord God Your Ogabe, so when I decree that it must be so…”
Meanwhile, we’ll “stimulate” the economy by removing ever more actually working energy sources from the market by banning drilling, coal mining, shale oil extraction, continuing to block nuclear energy and taxing you if you hook up a generator to your home gym treadmill. OK, we may have made that last bit up, but don’t tell us that he wouldn’t do it if he thought it would cripple the economy some more.
But none of that matters. The nosebleed when you have to visit the pump (those lucky ones among us who still haven’t lost our jobs due to his Socialist, DemCong Wrecking Ball) or pay your utility bills will soon disappear when we, under his wise guidance, reach
true socialism a full “sustainable, independent energy supply.”
Sorry about that last strikeout. We had a flashback there. We get that more and more these days, almost as if we’ve seen it all before somewhere. Odd, that.
Of course, the Tongue-Bather’s Brigades in the Obamedia have been out in full force ever since, declaring this speech the best since G-d said “let there be light” (they’d already used up the Gettysburg Address, everything Socrates ever said and the Sermon on the Mount).
And, in case we weren’t yet convinced that we’re led by the Größter Feldherr Aller Zeiten, The Greatest Orator since Pericles, The Most Popular Thing Since Internet Pr0n and Canned Goods With Pull Tabs, Communist Bull Shit informed us that, according to their poll, awfully scientific and all that rot, we’re sure, 91% were in awe of their King Ogabe’s awesomely awesome “proposals.”
At which point we realized that the media of this country has, finally, passed the turning point where you’d be better off reading back issues of the Völkischer Beobachter for your news.
The guys in those papers have better uniforms too.
Anyway, we couldn’t possibly say it better than Jim Treacher:
91%? Show me a poll where 91% of Americans agree that water is wet. That’s not a poll result, that’s an election return for Saddam Hussein.
…a statement with which we fully concur. But, as they say, “Husseins of a feather…”
We keep waiting for Rod Serling to step forward and finish this nightmarish episode so we can get back to reality.