And a warm thank you to LC Light29ID for trying to cheer us up in the Game 7 thread, even if it took us a while to find it.

We appear to have found an exception to the “no good deed goes unpunished” rule, because this particular good deed will.

No charges will be filed against the “Good Samaritan” who shot and killed a robber two weeks ago in the parking lot of a Cub Foods store in Minneapolis.

That word today from the Hennepin County Attorney’s Office.

But the sister of the dead robber faces two counts of Aggravated First Degree Robbery.

Hooray! Although it’s a great pity that the skank wasn’t plugged as well, but she was wise enough, regrettably, to not give the Good Samaritan a legal excuse to put her out of our misery.

According to the criminal complaint, on Thursday, October 20th, a 53-year-old woman was robbed just before 10:00 p.m. outside the Cub Foods on 26th Avenue and struck in the head by a gun held by the robber, 23-year-old Darren Evanovich.

That’s what’s usually called “pistol-whipped”, but obviously that was too inflammatory for ABC. Wouldn’t want to hurt any violent criminals’ feelings, would we?

Minneapolis Police say their investigation showed that at least two other people were with him and one of them was Marberry.

Marberry being the crack ho, skank-ass sister, to stay in the vernacular.

After Evanovich took the woman’s purse, all three ran off in a northwest direction, police say.

That’s when a man who witnessed the robbery chased Evanovich.

Obviously the gentleman didn’t take kindly to scum whacking ladies over the head and making off with their possessions, and we do mean “gentleman” in every possible way.

According to witnesses, the man drove up to the spot where he saw Evanovich going through the victim’s purse and asked him if he wanted to give the purse back.

See? Gentleman to the core. His Imperial Majesty would have been much less polite but, then again, His Majesty was brought up to not waste time on showing manners toward vermin.

Witnesses say that’s when it started to turn ugly–Evanovich pointed his gun at the “Good Samaritan,” and moved towards him.

Obviously mistaking impeccable manners for weakness, something that scumbag goblin Evanovich would not live to regret.

The man in the vehicle pulled out his handgun and shot Evanovich.

And the crowd. went. WILD! Yippee-ki-yay, mother… Er, sorry. We got a little carried away there.

Authorities say after they reviewed the circumstances, they determined that the man “acted in self-defense.”

Let’s review. Mustn’t jump to conclusions here. Goblin draws weapon on Good Samaritan, points it at him and Good Samaritan whacks his worthless arse. Yep, we’d say that counts as self-defense. Also, common sense. Not to mention good reaction times. Not easy to win a gunfight when the other guy already has the drop on you. Even when the other guy is a crack-addled, subhuman bucket of slime.

Hennepin County Attorney Mike Freeman said today in a press release, “While this man is to be commended for helping his fellow citizen in need, a note of caution is appropriate. We prefer that armed citizens do not chase after criminals. Too much can go wrong with deadly consequences.”

You’d rather leave that to unarmed citizens? No, we get your meaning, really we do. One should exercise extreme caution when there is a chance that human beings might be injured. Thankfully, in this case, no humans were.

Police say Marberry was found by Evanovich’s body after he was shot and police arrived.

Unfortunately, she was found with her vital signs still intact.

What we don’t understand is this:

No charges have been filed against her for her role in the October 20th robbery and shooting.

She was with the robber at the time of the crime, she was seen running off with him, but she’s not charged with anything? What, exactly, are the laws in Minnesota on this kind of thing? Because here in Texas she’d be charged as an accomplice in a crime with a lethal outcome, but maybe that word, accomplice, has too many syllables for Minnesota legislators.

Oh well. She’ll weed herself out of the gene pool soon enough. Meanwhile, we’ll celebrate the timely demise of another goblin and the fact that the good guy who dispatched him off to hell won’t be charged with anything.

Even though we firmly believe that he should at least be reimbursed for the ammunition.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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