Mittens Obamney continues to impress.
When asked if he supported Governor Kasich’s efforts to keep public employee unions from sucking the lifeblood out of Ohio taxpayers, he bravely ran away, away and refused to have an opinion.
But worry not, dear RomneyBots, because once he’d had a couple of days to exercise that lightning-quick, think-on-his-feet, razor sharp mind of his on the issue — actually, he just had to wait for the focus group polling results to come in, but that’s what RomBots call “strong leadership” and “intelligence” — he discovered that he was no less than 110% behind Governor Kasich.
Which made him a front runner for a position as a sports commentator and, if he’s as brilliant as Olberdouche, a subsequent job on AlBore’s TV channel that is so insignificant that we didn’t even have the time to find somebody who knew what the actual name of it was.
Crisis averted? Not quite. Some RomBots were apparently perceptive enough to sense that maybe the rest of America wasn’t really looking for a Flip Flop Kerry Clone with better hair who doesn’t have a ready answer to even the most simple of questions and has to consult with his pollsters before he decides what color socks he’s going to wear, so they quickly thought up a cover story with poor Rombama the Wavering as the victim of a devious plot:
But GOP chairman Kevin DeWine, who did not support Kasich’s gubernatorial campaign, brought Mitt Romney, displaying his political clout. But apparently no one informed Mitt Romney what the Ohio ballot initiatives were about or whether he had a position on them. When asked yesterday if he supported Issue 2, Mitt Romney punted. “I am not speaking about the particular ballot issues,” Romney said. “Those are up to the people of Ohio.”
“It would have been a pretty simple thing to make sure Romney knew that he was going to a phone bank where volunteers were making calls on behalf of Issue 2 and that earlier in the year he endorsed Issue 2,” said one Republican with close ties to the governor.
That evil DeWine, deviously and with malice aforethought failing to inform Romney the Omniscient about the basics of an issue that household pets in the rest of America know about, thus deliberately making poor, innocent Rombama give the wrong answer.
Pretty dumb scheme, if you ask His Imperial Majesty, given that there’d be a 50% chance of even a tossed quarter coming up with the right answer, thus foiling this carefully crafted plan, but such are the machinations of the Evil Anti-Romney Conspiracy™.
Not to mention, and we know that we repeat ourself, but shouldn’t such a shining, brilliant star on the GOP firmament that is Romney, if we are to believe allahpundit and the rest of the RINOcracy, know the substance of an issue that is so widely known that we are willing to bet that we found it mentioned on a Chinese fortune cookie just the other week, even without a pre-appearance strategy briefing?
We know that if it had been any other candidate in the GOP primary not knowing what Ohio Issue 2 was and coming up with a retarded answer as a result, it’d be all we’d be reading about on Hot (DAMN, But That Romney Is Wonderful!) Air for six incredibly tedious weeks.
But not with the Amazing Romney. Oh no, he was a poor victim of a cruel setup.
A cruel setup that only worked because he’s obviously been living under a rock for this past year and can’t pick sides on any issue without having a full briefing by his campaign staff first.
THAT’S what America needs!