The Obama administration has decided to withdraw all U.S. forces from Iraq by the end of the year after failing to reach an agreement with the Iraqi government that would have left several thousand troops there for special operations and training.

“The rest of our troops in Iraq will come home at the end of the year,” Obama said Friday at the White House. “After nearly nine years, America’s war in Iraq will be over.”

We certainly hope so, nothing would make us happier than to see Iraq emerge as a totally sovereign, peaceful democracy with no need for foreign assistance. It would be the utter vindication of all of the Bush Administration’s goals when going in there, after all.

But we suspect that the real intentions of SCOAMFOTUS’ withdrawal of our troops is to try to rescue a few points in the polls prior to 2012 by claiming that he, being the one to issue the order to withdraw, was the one who “won” the Iraqi campaign. Much like Boris Yeltsin, by being the one presiding over Russia when the order to withdraw troops from Eastern Europe, might have claimed to be the one to have “won” the Cold War.

Except Boris, not being a complete narcissistic stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure, never actually made that claim.

If sectarian strife or other violence should break out in Iraq once U.S. forces have left, Obama could be blamed, particularly by his conservative critics, for abandoning Iraq after nearly nine years of war before it was ready to protect itself.

Except, of course, that the MFM will never even think about blaming Teh One™ for anything and will do everything they can to bury any such criticism coming from individuals to whom “screwing Obama” doesn’t mean “having actual sex with Barry.”

Perhaps it really is time to withdraw and let Iraq stand on its own feet. We certainly hope so as we, just as the Bush administration, never wanted to have to hang around forever. That wasn’t the mission.

But what we can guarantee you at this point is that if it does turn out to be the right time, then what the MFM will never mention is that the only reason that the Stuttering Clusterfuck of a Miserable Failure would even find himself in the situation where he could issue the withdraw order is the sacrifice of hundreds of thousands of American troops and the surge designed and carried out by one General Petraeus.

The same guy who used to be called “Betray Us” in full page New York Times ads paid for by SCOAMF’s supporters.

And if it turns out to be yet another miserable failure of Barry Soetoro’s, then you can rest equally assured that the MFM will break out into unison blaming the “failed policies of the previous administration” for the clusterfuck.

As to His Imperial Majesty, it’s really simple:

Dear Iraq, we hope and pray that you will emerge as a beacon of freedom in the Middle East and that the sufferings you have gone through will not have been in vain. You truly inspired this American when you stood up to terrorism and oppression and lined up under mortar bombardment in order to, for the first time in the lives of most of you, cast a vote in a free election. You deserve for this to be a success.

Dear men and women of the United States Armed Forces, you have earned, again, our undying and eternal gratitude for the sacrifices you’ve borne for us, the courage you have displayed too many times to count under adverse conditions, the determination, loyalty and devotion to everything our great nation stands for and the example that you have set and continue to set for the entire world.

If this is to be victory, then that victory is yours and nobody else’s.

You paid the price.

The rest of us are left with a debt that we can never repay.

We are proud of you and eternally grateful to you.

We can only hope to ever prove worthy of you.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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