We’ve just learned that Representative-Elect Turner (R) is the winner of the special election in NY-9, and LC Sir Intellectual Conservative admonishes us all:

A seat that was Democratic since 1923 is now taken from them. I’m sure we’ll handle it with good grace, right??

We’ll graciously leave out his own gracious response to the good news and instead offer our own:

How do you like them apples, you fucking shit-slurping socialist sucknozzles? We dearly hope that when you wake up in your usual bong-induced haze in the morning and read the news you’ll choke on your soy lattes, trip over your Birkenstocks and impale your useless sack of shit bodies on your organically grown bamboo furniture, followed by you bleeding to death very slowly and painfully on your hemp rugs.

Cordially, of course.

P.S.: The race has been called for Turner by even the Associated (with terrorists) Press, but it still remains to be seen if the final result is outside the Margin of Democrat Fraud. In the meantime, we’ll have ourselves a drink while laughing our tuches off at the news that Ogabe’s NSDWP couldn’t even hold on to a district so deeply blue that it’s a miracle it reflects any light at all.

Heckuva job, Barry Soetoro, and for once we really mean it.


Perhaps we should rename today “Good News Tuesday?”

UPDATE: Debbie Downer the Demented DNC Parrot is already out with the spin:

Democratic party leaders insisted the loss wasn’t a harbinger of things to come. “It’s a very difficult district for Democrats,” said Democratic National Committee chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz,

I mean, come on! It’s only been solidly NSDWP for 88 years! Talk about being a tough row to hoe for them, anything could happen!

UPDATE the Second: Oh holy shit, it gets even better:

But Representative Debbie Wasserman Schultz of Florida, the chairwoman of the Democratic National Committee, said the district’s large concentration of Orthodox Jews made it unusual and meant the race had few national ramifications.

“In this district, there is a large number of people who went to the polls tonight who didn’t support the president to begin with and don’t support Democrats — and it’s nothing more than that,” she said in a telephone interview.

Indeed. Jews voting for Democrats? Unheard of! Could never happen! Oh, and bonus points for “it’s all the fault of the JOOOOOOS!”, Debbie Dingbat. Dear DNC, please don’t ever fire Debbie. May her days as chairwoman be infinite. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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