You load sixteen tons, and what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt.
Saint Peter don’t you call ’round here no more,
I sold my grandchildren’s futures to the Washington Whores.

So what are we getting here? The Cliff’s notes version, because you’d have to be a very special kind of retard to feel reassured by the likes of the Weakly Lack of Standards’ cries of resounding victory.

Well, we get no tax hikes, except that it doesn’t seem like that’s really off the table. We get the usual vague, nebulous, unbinding promises of future cuts in spending that we all know are never going to happen, unless Washington DC is going to keep its promises for the first time in the history of our nation. We avoid the mythical “default” that was never going to happen anyway unless Il Douche decided to make it happen and, as Moody’s has already reported out, the deeply unserious and untrustworthy promises of future cuts “don’t impress them much” as far as our credit rating is concerned, which is the real threat to our floundering economy. Oh, and we get a “super committee” which is going to squabble, bicker and come up with nothing or, in the unlikely case that they do come up with something which, again, would set a historic precedent for Washington DC and the Whores of the Potomac, we end up with another bunch of empty promises which will immediately be countermanded by legislative “fixes” in Congress.

The only real accomplishment here goes on the scoreboard for Il Douche and the Dem Cong who will have managed to avoid talking about the deficit throughout the election year of 2012 and, if any actual conservatives dare bring it up anyway, they’ll be immediately drowned in a synchronized OgabeMedia chorus of “you already got your draconian, horrible cuts, and look what that accomplished!”

So… Good job, Weepy Boner. You and the Country Club GOP have once again managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory and condemn our nation to financial destruction but, to be fair, you at least accomplished the feat of making it not happen on your watch. You must be so very, very proud of yourselves. President Bam-Bam at the very least owes you a reach-around after that poop chute extravaganza you just submitted our entire nation to.

Not to mention that your “cuts”, which we all know won’t ever materialize in this alternate universe, aren’t even cuts in the first place.

You see, it’s like this, at least out here where those of us who still have jobs to finance your whores, bribes and endless “fact finding missions” to vacation hot spots all over the world: If you have a family budget of, say, $50,000/year and you decide that you need to cut it back a bit, then that means that you spend less than $50,000 next year.

Not so in DC, thanks to the creative accounting of the CBO which would have landed them in federal prison if they’d been employed in the private sector, the budget is “baselined” to go up by a certain percentage every year, and everything below that is a “cut.” So if your actual working family in the previous example had decided, arbitrarily, that they needed to increase their spending by 10% every year as a “baseline”, they could then call spending “only” $54,000 next year as opposed to this year’s $50,000 a “cut”, which would only convince terminally retarded mono-cellular organisms and fiddy2ers, but we repeat ourself.

To put it in real numbers. If Congress were to freeze spending at its current level which is already monstrously high, not even cutting back a single dime from last year’s spending, we’d have a “cut” of $9 trillion dollars in one year. Again, that’s not a cut either, that’s just not spending any more than we’re already spending for one solitary year.

And we, not to mention our children and grandchildren who will actually be paying for this, are supposed to be excited about “cuts” of $2.4 trillion over TEN fucking years?

It’s not even a fucking rounding error.

Break out the fucking champagne, Weepy Boner.

We’d have to save more than $9 trillion dollars in just one year to even qualify for the term “cut” in real life, and we’re supposed to hail you GOP fuckweaseling cuntmuffins for a non-binding promise of “cutting” less than 30% of that amount over a period of TEN FUCKING YEARS, which translates to less than 3% of the break even point each year?

Go fuck yourselves. His Imperial Majesty is going to spend the next year teaching the Heirs how to tie nooses because they, being already more than $30 grand in the hole before having even entered middle school thanks to your nutless non-efforts, are sure going to be needing it when the time comes to string all of you whores up from whatever trees and lamp posts they can find.

His Majesty is not impressed, not even remotely.

Sure, you can legitimately say that we wouldn’t even be having this discussion, Il Douche and Dingy Reid would have gotten their “plan” without as much as a whimper if it hadn’t been for the Tea Party freshmen, and you can hope that this trend will continue so we can fight the Real Battle™ (which is always “just around the corner” just as “true socialism and utopia” was always “just beyond the next Five Year Plan” in the Soviet Union of yore) in 2013 once we have the power but, really now, this whole manana business is getting old and, if you look at history, putting our hopes in future Congresses hasn’t worked out all that well in the past for us.

Fuck it, expecting our current Congresses to accomplish anything at all hasn’t worked out for us yet.

As to ourself, we’re keeping our powder dry and stocking up on the canned goods, because this neither can nor will end well.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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