We’ve been wondering about this ever since she started showing up with puzzling regularity as the spokesweasel for the National Socialist Democrat Workers’ Party Caucus, but we haven’t yet been able to come up with an answer that even begins to make sense and now, when she’s apparently made it to chairman of the NSDWP, we just have to throw it out there in hopes that one of you fine LCs of the Empire may have succeeded where we have failed.

How in the name of Prometheus’ Liver did Debbie Wassermann-Schultz become the Metatron of the NSDWP?

You might say “O Emperor, you would say anybody who is a DemCong is an idiot” and you’d have a point, but she is a brainless idiot in a class of her own. Honestly, people, nobody hates socialists more than we do and for very good and personal reasons, but there’s no denying that some of them are actually capable of opening their mouths and coming off as something more than brain-damaged paramecia.

Not Debbie Wassermann-Schultz, however. She has absolutely no discernible talent when it comes to being a spokesperson for anything. We’re not even going to touch on the fact that she looks like she graduated high school yesterday and her ridiculous, bleached, 80s-style perm doesn’t help either, but every single time she opens her yap she sounds like one of those incredibly annoying tape recordings we all known and loathe if we’ve ever had the displeasure of dialing a phone number and getting a phone tree.

There is absolute NO sign of independent brain activity in anything she says.

Watching her being interviewed reminds us ever so much of Alvin Greene answering every single question, including “what time is it?” with “DeMint started the recession”, but at least he had the defense that he is a bona fide, card-carrying retard who was obviously used as a basketball when he was a kid.

Mind you, we’re not complaining. The NSDWP having a chair-moron whose every statement is about as enlightening and proof of human intelligence as hearing a macaw screeching “Polly wants a cracker” can do nothing but help but still…

What the fuck were the NSDWP twats thinking?



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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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