Don’t say we didn’t get anything for Christmas last year. We got the most incandescently inane Hitler comparison we think we’ve ever seen, courtesy of some rag called Newsweek, whose claim to fame is mainly having been sold for the princely sum of $1.00 (an absolute ripoff! The buyer should have sued).

With only days left of 2017, Newsweek managed to win the Dumbest Article of 2017™ with its late submission, and this in a year that saw more concentrated, industrial grade media idiocy than any other year in recorded history.

Hmm… We guess they finally did manage to achieve something.

Many of Trump’s Christian supporters argue that the president is ending the so-called war on Christmas, which has been presented by evangelicals and Fox news anchors as a threat to America’s Christian culture.

And absolutely nobody else. Just those ignorant Bible thumping maniacs and, of course FOX NEWS! Yep. That’s it.

Trump supporters say Americans have become too politically correct when they wish people happy holidays, a neutral term that can be used for people who celebrate Hanukkah, Eid al-Adha or any other religious holiday that takes place around the same time as Christmas.

For some values of “around the same time.” Hanukkah was Dec 12-20 last year, and Eid was September 1-4, a mere 3 months and 3 weeks before Christmas so, “around the same time.” The same year, at the very least.

Which is, of course, still missing the point entirely. If His Imperial Majesty wishes to extend his happy wishes to a Jew on Hanukkah, he’ll say something like, we don’t know, “Happy Hanukkah”. We fail to see the need for a “neutral term”, in fact we find it a bit insulting. As if we’re trying to be polite and inclusive, but G-d forbid we should take that vile, heathen word in our mouth! Happy Hanukkah. There, we did it again! And yet our foreskin hasn’t fallen off, nor did a yarmulke suddenly materialize on top of our head which, we have to admit, would be a pretty amazing party trick.

Imagine that.

Come to think of it. Those yearly dinners SCoaMF used to host, they weren’t called by a “neutral term” such as “totally nondescript period of fasting from sunup until sundown dinners”, were they? Why not? Yes, that was a rhetorical question. So why the singling out of Christmas? Nope, no war there, not even the slightest inkling of hostile sentiment, no sirree.

But critics counter that Trump is promoting a version of the holidays that excludes members of other religions,

Keep in mind that when a Prozi Presstitute uses the term “critics”, it means “we” or “I”, they’re just too dishonest to admit it and think that everybody else are as dumb as they themselves are.

and that his crusade to bring back Christmas

“But the CRUSADES!”

Again with this arrant nonsense?


Also, we weren’t aware that Christmas had left, no matter how much the Prozis would like for it to do so.

is part of a larger attempt by the president to define America as a country for white Christians alone.

And we suppose that “Happy Easter” is part of a larger attempt to define America as a country for chocolate bunnies alone? We get so confused at times. Similarly, celebrating Cinco de Mayo must be a blatant crusade to Make America Mexico Again, St. Patrick’s Day is part of a larger attempt to get everybody shitfaced on beer with food coloring in it while wearing funny hats and so on and so forth.

Wishing people “merry Christmas” instead of “happy holidays” is thus in line with Trump’s decision to ban citizens of Muslim-majority countries from entering the United States, critics say

You mean “you say.” And did we miss citizens of Malaysia being banned from entry? Saudi Arabia? Egypt? Dammit, it’s getting impossible to keep up. Unless of course those three countries, along with all of the other muslim-majority countries not on the travel ban list suddenly went majority Christian due to Evangelical grannies from Oklahoma walking around saying Merry Christmas to them.

It fits neatly with his refusal to condemn white supremacists when they march against diversity,

Condemning both sides in a fight for being a bunch of violent brats is the equivalent of refusing to condemn one of the sides. Interesting dictionary you have there. Maybe try to read it, perhaps? For comprehension, this time?

and with his condemnation of athletes who protest police brutality against black men.

Because that was exactly what he was criticizing them for! “Protesting police brutality against black men”. We remember it so very clearly. “How DARE you protest the wanton murder of black men? SAD!” That’s literally what he said, LITERALLY!!!

With this in mind,

In order to have anything in mind, you have to first possess one which you, clearly, do not.

the fight to end the war on Christmas is exclusionary politics at its most flagrant.

“I see such invocations of Christmas as a kind of cypher, what some would call a dog whistle. It does not appear to be intolerant or extreme, but to attentive audiences it speaks volumes about identity and belonging—who and what are fully American,” Richard King, a professor at Washington State University who studies how white supremacists exploit culture, told Newsweek.

Finally a source that is not “voices in my head.” That’s something, we suppose. That it’s a Prozi Perfessor from Vladivostok University isn’t much better, but it’s a step in the right direction. A baby step. A paraplegic baby with no legs step.

“Much like ‘Make America Great Again,’ panics over the protests by NFL players and the defense of Confederate memory, Christmas is a way to talk about peril, to assert a soft or hard version of white nationalism,” he said.

Ah yes. That lovely time of year when we gather around the Yule Log, eggnog at hand in ridiculous quantities, marveling at the majesty of the Christmas tree whilst the kids unpack their gifts and we adults discuss the virtues of white nationalism and our imminent plans for invading Poland.

Such a wonderful time of year, it is.

Trump isn’t the first political figure in history to co-opt Christmas. In fact, some see parallels between Trump’s speeches in front of Christmas trees and attempts by authoritarian regimes like the Nazis to manipulate popular celebrations to promote a political ideology.

You thought we were engaging in hyperbole there, didn’t you? Sadly, we were not. This time we were innocent as a lamb, pure as the driven snow. Yep, not even halfway through and Newsweek already slammed gleefully, deliberately and loudly into Godwin.

Hitler, that most devout of Evangelical Christians (just read Mein Kampf if you don’t believe us, it reads like the New Testament!) sometimes held speeches at Christmas, JUST LIKE TRUMP!!!!


Likewise, Nazi Germany’s propagandists rooted their idea of Christmas in visions of ethno-nationalism. They rewrote the lyrics of Christmas carols, promoted Nazified holiday traditions and launched numerous Christmas charity events for poor Germans.

You’re damned right they rewrote some lyrics and tried (with absolutely no luck at all) to make a Nazi version of Christmas because, wait for it, they aimed to replace Christmas and Christianity with National Socialism.

Again: Read Mein Kampf. This time we’re not being sarcastic. That actually IS in there.

But, being not complete idiots (sadly, the war might have never happened if they had been), they knew only too well how replacing Christmas with something else overnight would fly. Hint: Just about as well as the Hindenburg on a windy day in New Jersey. So they went about trying to replace it bit by bit and, once again, failed miserably.

Almost like some contemporary fascists we could mention.

So yes, there are parallels. Just not the ones you’d like for us to notice. But, as always, you just can’t help yourselves, can you?

You really need to stop projecting, it makes this all too damned easy.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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