Well, nothing much, really, the world is insanity 24/7 as per usual.

Regardless, we’re back from a much needed vacation (and a vacation from the vacation), and we notice that the free ice cream machine needs a swift kick to the backside.

Try as we might during our Imperial Retreat, we couldn’t keep the noise of what was going on out entirely, and things that were previously merely borked up seem to have become borked up even further.

The presstitutes in the ProgMedia appear to be ever more determined to incinerate whatever credibility they might have left, which is about as much as the credibility of the French army after June of 1940. Alright, that’s unfair. Less credibility than the French army of 1940. Our apologies to any poilus present.

If we have learned one thing from the past several weeks, it is that nothing is too absurd for the ProgMedia to howl it from the rooftops, and whereas we used to equate “anonymous sources” with “voices in our heads” as a joke, they have now managed to make it an established fact. Good job. As a result, all one needs to do to keep up with what is actually going on is to immediately disregard any drivel from the ProgMedia’s stenographers the moment the words “anonymous sources” are encountered.

Which leaves one with nothing but the weather forecast and the obituaries, which works just fine for us.

In good news, that plebeian weasel Comey finally got a well-deserved kick in the backside, to which we can only say “what took you so long?” One has to admire the way in which it was done, though. Make sure the lying, leaking, sniveling toad is on the opposite side of the Empire, then send in the Praetorians to lock down his office and hand him his pink slip.

They should, of course, have handed him his sword and told him to do the honorable thing, but then they’d have to spend three weeks explaining the concept of “honor” to him.

In less amusing news, about three score and ten “lone muslim wolves” who have nothing to do with islam whatsoever, honest, guv!, have been busy shredding tweens and other innocents in London, then Manchester, then London again as well as Melbourne.

Sadly, they left behind precious few clues as to what made them do this, just a few ISIS flags and random shouts of “allahu akbar”, “this is for ISIS/Syria/Palestine/my favorite goat” and long histories of having sympathized with muslim terrorism, histories they’d helpfully posted on social media and advertised to friends, neighbors, the press and a Yorkshire terrier named Nigel.

Obviously, with such a scarcity of forensic evidence we will probably never know what motivated them. Correction: We, and you in particular, WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT MOTIVATED THEM, savvy? All we do know is that the deeds of these islamic terrorism-sympathizing muslims had absolutely, positively nothing to do whatsoever with islam. Or else!

Not to despair, though. The West in general and (formerly great) Britain in particular responded immediately and forcefully with massive amounts of candlelit vigils, profile picture changes on Facepalm and cries for tolerance and eternal vigilance regarding the inevitable violent backlash against entirely innocent muslims. British Prime Minister Theresa May even went as far as to promise a severe curtailing of free speech online. Not an empty threat, it turns out, as a post on Twatter by an angry Brit (they apparently still do exist) calling for perhaps a little less sorrow and a smidge more righteous fury immediately led to the Manchester Metropolitan Police (previously known mainly for studiously avoiding investigating the muslim mass murderer in spite of knowing full well that he was a terrorist-in-waiting) starting an investigation. Of the poster.

All in all, we can conclude that the West’s response is the most pathetic “response” to any enemy offensive since the German High Command announced in 1943 that they were going to defeat the Soviet Union’s offensive at Stalingrad by straightening out the front lines 500 miles to the rear.

In other words, business as usual.

Did we miss anything?

Now, fetch us whatever is left in the Imperial Wine Cellar.

We need a drink.


And to think that, 73 years ago today, the ancestors of those same spineless twats marched through German fire to conquer and vanquish, establishing a foothold on the continent from which they would eventually win the war.

We hoist a glass to those heroes of yesteryear and ask them humbly for forgiveness.

By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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