Because, why not?

It sure is amusing as Hades watching the ever so clever “analysts” from inside the Beltway and the DNC Steno Pool twist themselves into pretzels trying to come up with ever more offensive interpretations of the expression “getting schlonged” in order to please their queen, Hiiiiiillary!

It’s even more amusing how they’ve suddenly forgotten that this expression, which means nothing more than “getting screwed”, the allegedly most sexist, misogynist, possibly RAYCISSS word in the history of words, was used years ago… by NPR.

The panic is certainly spreading. So saying that the Hildebeest got schlonged, which she’s unlikely to have been since… when was the year before Chelsea was born again?, is right OUT and quite absolutely positively sure to cause Trump to crash and burn. Got it.

So “got screwed” is OK? “Cock slapped,” maybe? “Bent over a barrel?” “Beaten like a red-headed stepchild?” No, that last one is quite obviously gingerphobic.

We got nuttin’.

No schlong, huh? Bloody Jew-hating bastards.

Instead, we wish you and yours a Merry Christmas and thanks, from the bottom of our Imperial heart, inasmuch as we have one, rumor has it that it’s nothing but a single molecule of blackest coal, for sticking around on this little web hangout of ours.

May you all have all that you wish for, and may 2016 be a happy and prosperous one!


UPDATE: Since we can’t abide the thought that anybody, anywhere, is more offensive that we are, we’ve decided on our very own way of describing The Cankled One’s defeat to Princess Precious Perfect:

She got shtupped by a shmekel.

Beat THAT one, Trump, you amateur!

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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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