The Useless Nitwits are a band of statist bastards, we all know that. From putting the worst human rights abusers on the committee for human rights to trying to declare the Western Wall as a mohamadean religious site, this babbling cluster fuck of elitist cocksuckers who envision themselves as the enlightened ruling class of the globe are constantly fucking good things up. They’re to geopolitics what “Let’s be friends” is to dating, a pretentious slut who thinks she’s too good for you and gets way too much pleasure out of crushing your dreams and desires.
They’ve long been anti-American and pro-totalitarian, trying to impose on the world a malignant nanny statism, sucking off the American tax payers teat to do it. But now they’ve gone to far!
Those mewling, anal chancre, smegma snorting, twat muffins have declared that bacon causes cancer!!!
Fuck no, fuck no, a thousand times fuck no. They can take my lands, they can take my life, but they’ll never take my BACON!!!
Just kidding, they can die on my bayonet trying to take my land and freedom too, but I just felt a little William Wallacey there for a second.
They’re including red meat and bacon in the same group of carcinogens as tobacco and asbestos and no doubt in time will start a jihad against cooked animal carcass (mmmm, animal carcass) the same way as they did against smoking.
You know what I say to that?
Why? ‘Cuz ‘Merica, that’s why.
Any one tries to take my bacon I’ll beat them to death with a bag of cobras and loose change.