Seriously folks (or as Algore would say “Serially”) I am at a total loss for words to fisk this heaping pile of…of…you see, speechless. I’ll just leave it here and allow you pups to have the honor. But do, please, read all the comments in the link. It will give you back some of the IQ points you lose after reading the…the…black hole singularity of stupidity. I do so wish I could see all y’alls faces as you read it though. Who knew G.H.W. Bush won a second term?

No one is coming for your guns … yet

I’m sure I lost a lot of readers right off the bat with my headline, but for those of you who are willing to hear me out (and if you are still reading I am going to assume that you are), let me explain my position to you.


Gun control is an absolute joke in this country. Background checks are all well and good, but if you can turn around and sell the gun to your neighbor without one, they’re utterly pointless. Assault weapons being sold to the general public is ridiculous. Nobody needs an AR15 to shoot a deer. And this whole open carry movement just terrifies me.


It seems to me that while some people are so adamant about their Second Amendment rights, they’ve forgotten all about my First Amendment ones — specifically my right to life. Sorry, that should trump your “right” to sling a semi-automatic weapon over your shoulder and sit in the booth next me at a restaurant.


Gun control is a political platform utilized by both parties to pander to the masses and garner votes. It sickens me that human lives are the cost of winning an election nowadays.


Because this is a column, inherently an opinion piece, I’m not going to pull out a bunch of stats and quotes to support my cause (although they are abundant.) But there is one that I can’t let go. The majority of people I talk to seem to think that President Obama is “out to get your guns” when in reality, the first Bush administration had stricter gun laws.


In fact, two of the most critical gun control measures that ever passed took place in the 1990s: 1993’s Brady Bill and 1994’s Assault Weapons Ban — both passed by a Republican president (George H.W. Bush) with the help of strong vocal support by former President Reagan.


The reality is that our forefathers in 1791 had no idea about the weapons technology we would have in the future. The notion that the constitution is static is absurd. This is why they are called “amendments” so that they can be amended to keep up with the times.


Mass shootings have almost become common place in today’s media, and every time one happens the same rhetoric is replayed: “Now is a time of mourning, and not an appropriate time to discuss gun control.”


So, my question is: when is the appropriate time? When do we as a society decide to finally catch up with the rest of the modern world and say enough? What exactly are you defending with your “well regulated militia?” Because I guarantee that whatever you may have in your personal arsenal is a joke compared to what the most well funded military on the planet has to bring to the field.


As much as I would like to, I am not calling for the complete disarming of the American public. What I would like to see are some reasonable restrictions put into place.


For starters, registration. This seems obvious to me. When you sell your car, the registration of the car follows it from owner to owner — it should be no less for firearms. Licensing to own a gun would then logically follow. I don’t have a problem with hunting rifles or family heirloom pieces either.


I’m not overly fond of handguns, but I’ve learned to pick my battles. This “open carry” nonsense has to stop. Everyone wants to strap on a six shooter like Wyatt Earp, but they forget that the gunfight at the OK Corral took place because Earp was trying to enforce the town’s ordinance banning guns.


America, for all her technological advances, is in reality a very young nation. Perhaps in time, as our country grows in age and experience, we will finally see the error of our ways and begin to make amends. If we can only get through this rebellious teenager phase, we might even stand a chance.


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By LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E.

Former USMC infantryman, proud father of a current USMC infantryman and two Princesses who know what that means. Currently an NRA law enforcement firearms instructor, radar instructor, CPR instructor, a few others but you get the point. Catholic, conservative, heterosexual, gun owner, anything I can do to piss off liberals.

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