Why, it’s almost as if it’s been mentioned by name directly in there since the document was written!

The Progressive Socialists (Prozis for short) react with their usual tolerance and restraint… By wanting to burn all of Hobby Lobby’s stores to the ground.

See? Don’t say the Prozis haven’t evolved at all. They’ve come a long way since their German ideological predecessors “merely” wanted to break all of the windows in Jewish stores.

Granted, their “evolution” mainly consists of more closely emulating their other fellow travelers in the Middle East, who have a long and storied tradition of wanting to put anything that offends them to the torch.

So what’s all the hubbub about? What’s causing the Prozis to froth at the mouth and scream about fascism etc. (the irony, the IRONY. It HURTS!) as they are wont every time they don’t have their way vis-a-vis telling everybody else what to do, right down to the most minute of details?

Why, it’s the Hobby Lobby’s OUTRAGEOUS refusal to finance infanticide, of course, a refusal that SCOTUS appears to have upheld under the long forgotten “freedom of religion” clause in that equally long forgotten document written, like, more than a hundred years ago, the Constitution.

The one good thing about cases where abortion comes up is that the Prozis for once shut the fuck up about Teh Children™ in lieu of an actual argument. As a matter of fact, they get downright testy if anybody mentions children when a horde of Prozis want to murder a whole lot of them with the protection of the state.

Nevertheless, that’s how SCOTUS ruled, and the Prozis are, of course, already busy lying through their teeth about the decision, one of the many howlers being that Hobby Lobby has somehow, with this decision, secured the right to ban contraception. Only flaw with this “reasonable” Prozi argument is that it, like every single other Prozi argument, is entirely in absolute contradiction of the truth.

For one thing, Hobby Lobby quite happily covers contraception, something that they are under no legal obligation to do, any more than they’re under any legal obligation to pay for their employees’ Jello Shots, should they decide to spend a night on the town. What Hobby Lobby’s owners did refuse to do was to pay for it if one of their employees decided to do away with any tiresome consequences of said night, consequences of the baby variety. Said owners, being religious types, aren’t cool with that whole bumping off innocent babies thing, unlike Prozis who really never in the history of mankind had a problem with bumping anybody off, as long as they were the ones doing the bumping.

The only problem His Imperial Majesty sees here is that the decision only respects religious objections, which isn’t in any way fair to the millions of non-religious people who also would rather not be forced to finance somebody else’s infanticidal tendencies. Oh well, half a loaf and all that.

And then there’s the whole “RU-486 (or whatever the Hades name for it polls well enough these days for the abortifacient to be marketed under) is not an abortifacient” which is, of course, a load of bovine cac. Sperm meets egg, sperm unites with egg, human being results. All it needs from here on out is nutrients. Much like any other human being, really, except for the dead ones. Said nutrition is provided by the uterine wall, except that is prevented by the “not an abortifacient” abortifacient, which slams shut the pantry and puts a padlock on it, whereupon the new little human being gets flushed out in a sea of blood and other dead tissues.

Which is, like, TOTALLY not abortion! If you’re a Prozi with an IQ of approximately 14. Because it’s only abortion if the little human being has implanted himself in the uterine wall, or developed a heartbeat, or a nervous system, or started composing Shakespearean sonnets, or run for president, depending on who the Prozis want killed on any given day. Not even Mercury himself could catch the goal posts of the Prozis as fast as they’re moving.

But the bottom line of it all is this: Hobby Lobby (and SCOTUS’s decision) has not “banned” anything. They’ve merely had their right to not pay for somebody else’s wants affirmed. All of the Sandra Flukes out there are still as free to mass exterminate babies to their shriveled hearts’ contents today as they were yesterday, they’re just going to have to pay for it themselves.

Which is the REAL problem, as far as Prozis are concerned.

As it always is. If they weren’t so damnably homicidal and dangerous, one could just lean back and laugh at how completely and utterly useless the lazy cunni are while waiting for them to, at long last, die out hilariously.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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