The One And Future Chad, The Boy Who Enrolled In 404Care, Actually… Didn’t…

In other not quite as covered news as a terrified nation hunkers down under the ShutdownPocalypse, not knowing when they might, once again, be able to rely on the safe operation of the Federal Geographic Data Committee (also a real agency, we’re still not making things up) and thus be able to find Upper Volta on a map, if maps even exist anymore, the one citizen who actually managed to get through the endless stream of 404 pages leading to Unaffordable Care didn’t, actually, sign up for anything.

Which is kind of sad, really, after the Ogabe Stenography Pool (formerly “the MSM”) got done interviewing him in every single outlet they have, praising the efficiency of the new system and increasingly desperate for one, just ONE success story about their Ear Leader’s “Signature Legislation.”

After all if, after only one week, ONE citizen managed to enroll, the sky’s the limit! Only 40,000,000 to go! Federal efficiency hard at work! You can’t professionalize unless you federalize! All hail FedGovCo.

But it turned out he didn’t. It also turned out that he is an extremely partisan progtard stormtrooper for OFA, something that those professional journalists might have known if they’d spent, we don’t know, five minutes on Google. But “researching your sources” isn’t something that real journalists do anymore. At least not if they already have the narrative they want.

But let’s not be unreasonable here. They’ve only had three years to get a website up and running. Three years. Which is, by the way only a fraction of the time it takes to get a hip replacement under socialist healthcare. Trust us, we know.

We may have finally found something that Chuck Norris can’t do: Get through to enroll in ObamaCare. As if he’d want to.

Meanwhile, ObamaCare has been taken offline for the weekend for “repairs”, so don’t bother trying to log in. Not that you could anyway if they hadn’t been “taken offline.” ObamaCare, like everything else progtard socialists stand for, was born offline.

Elsewhere, although they never actually enrolled in anything, intrepid citizens with way too much time on their hands managed to get through to the price list. Result? Sticker shock!

Looks like a bunch of Low Information Voters (and you get only three guesses as to whom they voted for, two of which don’t count) are shocked, SHOCKED to find out that healthcare they can’t afford is mandatory and that if they don’t sign up for healthcare they don’t have the money to pay for, they’ll get fined out of money they don’t have.

We could feel sorry for them, we suppose, but considering the fact that we spent years pissing into the wind trying to tell the blockheads JUST THAT with no result, we’re not exactly in a charitable mood here.

Welcome to the real world, the real world that you knuckledragging retards rammed down our throats. Enjoy. Or not. We can’t really say that we give a flying fuck. Just die in a fire.

But by all means keep screaming at Ted Cruz for at least trying to save you from yourselves.


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LC SecondMouse
LC SecondMouse (@secondmouse)
October 5, 2013 09:02

“You can ignore reality, but you cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.” – Ayn Rand

If that quote does not perfectly describe the modern liberal, nothing does. Liberals are like sinking ships that fire upon their rescuers.

Orion (@orion)
October 5, 2013 17:04

I don’t know why they’re all whining about not being able to afford health care.

They should just raise their personal debt limits.

And I loved the description of a PROFESSIONAL company analyzing the Obamafail website’s code…(paraphrasing) “It’s basically set up to DDOS itself…”