The Many Faces of Global Warmening/Climate Change/The Weather

Because there’s absolutely nothing it cannot do, and that includes warming us up until we freeze to death. But it’s still warming, you deniers, racists, ignoramuses and H8Rs! Because shut up! (thanks to Andy from AoSHQ):

There has been a 60 per cent increase in the amount of ocean covered with ice compared to this time last year, they equivalent of almost a million square miles.

In a rebound from 2012’s record low an unbroken ice sheet more than half the size of Europe already stretches from the Canadian islands to Russia’s northern shores, days before the annual re-freeze is even set to begin.

All together now, Glowball Wormening Cultists: “LIES, LIES, THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED, THE DEBATE IS OVER, THE ARCTIC ICE SHEET IS SHRINKENING BECAUSE SHUT UP!”

Alright then. We’ll have to resort to visual aids, as you drooling village idiots don’t do too well with book learning and words longer than two syllables:

This picture clearly shows shrinkage from 2012 to 2013. Er, nevermind.

This picture clearly shows shrinkage from 2012 to 2013. Er, nevermind.

“PHOTOSHOP, DENIERS, NEVER HAPPENED, H8RS, RACIST!”

A leaked report to the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) seen by the Mail on Sunday, has led some scientists to claim that the world is heading for a period of cooling that will not end until the middle of this century.

We wonder if the past 15 years of no warmening at all tipped them off?

If correct, it would contradict computer forecasts of imminent catastrophic warming. The news comes several years after the BBC predicted that the arctic would be ice-free by 2013.

See picture above. The Arctic is clearly ice-free. That big white splotch is just lens flare. Yeah, that’s it, lens flare. Made by the Koch Brothers!

Despite the original forecasts, major climate research centres now accept that there has been a “pause” in global warming since 1997.

A “pause” when cataclysmic man-made global wormening was predicted. What do we call “models” that predict utter horseshit and are conclusively and definitively proven to be wrong?

That’s right. We call them “utter horseshit.”

The original predictions led to billions being invested in green measures to combat the effects of climate change.

Not really. They were “invested” into the private bank accounts of corrupt liars, sock puppets and thieves such as Al Gore and just about every other liberal fascist who ever wasted oxygen that could have been better used feeding a fire. A fire engulfing a huge building we’d locked them inside of. We won’t even bother beginning to list the dozens of failed, bankrupt “green initiatives” funded by taxpayer money under King Barry the Bastard. Scams that helpfully, for their owners and friends of Barry, didn’t go bankrupt until they’d safely shoveled away the money in their private accounts.

The IPCC says it is “95 per cent confident” that global warming has been caused by humans – up from 90 per cent in 2007 – according to the draft report.

Which, in light of the actual data that has managed to get past the propaganda filters of the Glowbull Wormening Cult clearly documenting that no such thing is happening, provides individuals with an IQ above King Odumb-dumb’s shoe size a 100% confidence that 95% of the IPCC don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about and would serve humanity better by dying in a fire.

Long-term cycles in ocean temperature, [US climate expert Professor Judith Curry] said, suggest the world may be approaching a period similar to that from 1965 to 1975, when there was a clear cooling trend.

At the time some scientists forecast an imminent ice age.

That sound you hear is the Glowbull Wormening Cultist cockroaches scurrying off to recalibrate their scam to fit Glowbull Coolening instead. Which will be relatively easy since they probably still have the old bullshit from back then lying around somewhere. They just need to change a few names and dates.

The IPCC is said to maintain that their climate change models suggest a pause of 15 years can be expected. Other experts agree that natural cycles cannot explain all of the recorded warming.

Funny. We seem to recall that their “models” didn’t say anything of the sort when we were originally told we were all going to fry. Then after a decade or so of no wormening, we were told that a pause of up to a decade could be expected and now, after 15 years of no wormening, we’re being told that they’ve always said that a “pause” of 15 years can be expected. But maybe our memory fails us.

It sure seems to us that their “we always said that [insert bullshit here] could happen” chants seem to, er, change a lot, though. And the bullshit inserted always seems to correlate rather well with what has actually happened since their last iteration of their bullshit.

It’s almost as if they’re… full of bullshit?

Thatisall.

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Orion
Orion
angrywebmaster
angrywebmaster

Perhaps the National Review can use this in their lawsuit with Michael “Hockey Stick” Mann

dasbow
dasbow

The IPCC says it is “95 per cent confident” that global warming has been caused by humans – up from 90 per cent in 2007 – according to the draft report.

It’s a little like Sex Panther:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjvQFtlNQ-M

Special Ed
Special Ed

Um, water is what sprawls across the rocks and dirt of Terra. As the rocks and dirt do, so does the whattah. I’ve looked at “some” available data, and there seems to be a slight increase in ocean level vs. land in some predictions. As much as 20CENTIMETERS!!!!11!!!ONE11! in areas that are a measley 3 feet above sea level!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!… Read more »

Igor, Imperial Booby
Igor, Imperial Booby

I sure don’t see a whole helluva lot of brain activity in these Global Wormering idiots. Theys guys are “scientists”?!?!?!?

angrywebmaster
angrywebmaster

Igor, Imperial Booby @ #:

I sure don’t see a whole helluva lot of brain activity in these Global Wormering idiots.

This is why you always see them with hats on their heads. It keeps the snow off and prevents ice dams. There certainly isn’t enough cranial activity to generate the heat needed to melt all that snow.
:em05:

Fa Cube Itches
Fa Cube Itches

Igor, Imperial Booby @ #:

Theys guys are “scientists”?!?!?!?

The proper term is scienticians.

Igor, Imperial Booby
Igor, Imperial Booby

Fa Cube Itches @ #:
“The proper term is scienticians.”

Ah! Rhymes with politicians. How silly of me not to see it right away!! :em05:

VonZorch Imperial Researcher
VonZorch Imperial Researcher

Igor, Imperial Booby says:

I sure don’t see a whole helluva lot of brain activity in these Global Wormering idiots. Theys guys are “scientists”?!?!?!?

No, they’re true believing priests.

LC SecondMouse
LC SecondMouse

Google ‘phlogiston’ for another example of how epic stupidity can periodically overtake the process of science and render it laughable. The high priests of this false religion (think ManBearPig) and their ‘scienticians’ (H/T Fa Cube) should all be anally probed with a hockey stick as punishment for believing themselves as masters of anything other than fear-mongering bullshit and fictional grant-writing.