Inside the Exceedingly Silly Minds of ProgNazis

Apparently some ProgNazi liberal twatmuffin sat down and composed a masturbatory fantasy about the inevitable Christofascist Tyranny, had McStain/Palin won in ’08.

Dammit, we didn’t think it possible for anyone to come up with anything more inanely dumb than, say, “Snakes on a Plane” or “Sharknado.”

But by Jove, somebody just gone done it. Go read it, you can thank us later. It’s Ace at his best, which is saying quite a bit.

Something about three ecologically sustainable “free thinking” ProgNazis, Greg, Emilie and their American-Indian friend Sanjay who’s gay (because of course he is!) spending G-d knows how many pages talking about the horror of how Sarah Palin (McStain croaks early on in Russia, which is the part of the whole sack of dreck that we actually like) imposed martial law upon America in order to force everybody to go to church every Sunday or something. Oh, and in order to murder all the gays, we think. It would certainly save the DemCong racists’ traditional allies, the Mujahideen, quite a bit of trouble.

Because obviously, OBVIOUSLY that would be the very first priority of a Palin administration. Take away line from that ProgNazi fantasy:

“They said what they would do, and we did not listen. Then they did what they said they would do.”

Funny, we recognize that feeling. It’s almost as if somebody had said that they were going to “fundamentally transform” America and bankrupt the energy industry so that energy prices would “necessarily skyrocket” and then, UNEXPECTEDLY, gone ahead and done just that. Oh, we weren’t talking about the ProgNazis’ Precioussss, Barack the Bastard? Sorry about that. No, of course we’re not.

But we are a bit puzzled about when, exactly, Palin and her mindless Christofascist hordes (that would be us, among many) had mentioned anything at all about making Christianity law and forcing the heathens to submit or die. We hear it a LOT from the ProgNazis’ friends, the Religion of Peace™, but we must have missed that memo from the Vast Right Wing Christian Conspiracy of which we are a proud member.

We really need to check our email more often!

And then there’s something about the entire nation being quickly overrun by rabid Christians forcing Nearer My G-d to Thee as a national anthem upon The People™ except for New Yawk City, who bravely drew a line in the sand saying “this far and no further.” Which is really funny. All it would take to make that Bastion of Depraved, Socialist Dystopianism fold like a cheap deck chair would be to put a cordon around it and wait for the retarded ProgNazis to run out of soy lattes and organic tofu burgers. Which would take about 45 minutes.

In other words: A load of ProgNazi bullshit projecting everything that they actually are doing unto a group of people who have never even tried to do it.

How do we know that those horrid evangelical Christians aren’t actively plotting to Take Over the World™?

Simple, really: Because we haven’t Taken Over the World™. There are quite a few of us, you know, and we’re very, very well armed. Not to mention that we’re bloody everywhere, us church-going, murderous bastards, everywhere from your local PTA meeting up to the highest levels of governments and everywhere in between. And we’ve had 2,000 years to plot your demise.

BWAHAHAHHHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAH!

So either you ProgNazi fuckwits are completely and utterly retarded, or we’re the most inept, bleedingly obviously incompetent “conspiracy” in the history of conspiracies.

Before you Christophobic drooltard ProgNazis jump for the latter, keep in mind: Our first accomplishment, while we were mainly a group of “heretic” stragglers wandering the world, was to take down the Roman Empire. We like to think that, were we thusly inclined, a mob of unwashed, poorly disciplined, soy-huffing dicks wouldn’t be much of a challenge.

Much like the other favorite meme of the fascist left about how gun owners are a bunch of psychotic murder bots two cross words away from letting their inanimate guns take over their minds and massacre every ProgNazi in sight.

Trust us on this: If we wanted to, if we truly wanted to, it would have happened already.

So just do your best to not make us want to.

Because you wouldn’t like the result. Not one little bit, you fascist, liberty hating, knuckledragging douchenozzles. Not. One. Little. Bit.

Thatisall.

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LCBren
Admin
LCBren
August 20, 2013 04:52

I read it all.

Thats ten minutes of my life I will never see again.

Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery
Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery
August 20, 2013 11:58

couldn’t finish it…….it’s just too early in the morning and it’s too nice of a day to ruin with that alleged writing. I can’t imagine someone holing up and writing something like that, makes me wonder just how bitter they like their morning coffee

LC Ohio Right Wing Nut
LC Ohio Right Wing Nut
August 20, 2013 12:15

I got through a couple of paragraphs, :em08: :em08: :em08:

*In my best Forrest Gump voice* ” And that’s all I got to say about that.”

Special Ed
Special Ed
August 20, 2013 14:17

But we are a bit puzzled about when, exactly, Palin and her mindless Christofascist hordes (that would be us, among many) had mentioned anything at all about making Christianity law and forcing the heathens to submit or die. We hear it a LOT from the ProgNazis’ friends, the Religion of Peace™, but we must have missed that memo from the… Read more »

Fa Cube Itches
Fa Cube Itches
August 20, 2013 15:15

Look, everyone *knows* that as soon as an Evul Reichwing RethugliKKKan is elected, their first reaction is this

LC Xystus
LC Xystus
August 20, 2013 15:59

One of Niven’s Laws For Writers: Everybody talks first draft. (Characters’ regularly making speeches, BTW, is said to be a Randian characteristic.)

VonZorch Imperial Researcher
VonZorch Imperial Researcher
August 20, 2013 18:32

Wasted a few minutes reading the first four paragraphs, now I have a roaring headache and have trouble focusing my eyes.

David Block
David Block
August 20, 2013 21:12

What a nutcase. Glad Ace read it so that I don’t have to. Hats off to Ace, and to Misha for their service to humanity.

August 21, 2013 01:50

And these fools are absolutely and utterly blind to the fact that everything they’re convinced Sarah would do(yeah, right–only in an Evil Parallel Dimension), is being swiftly accomplished by Barack The Most Holy Lightbringer Who Shall Heal The Planet And Lower The Seas and his minions. I need more booze and a large supply of very hard drugs to even… Read more »

LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
August 22, 2013 00:56

Trust us on this: If we wanted to, if we truly wanted to, it would have happened already.

So just do your best to not make us want to.

And there it is in a nutshell.

LC Jackboot IC/A
Admin
LC Jackboot IC/A
August 22, 2013 12:23

LC cmblake6, Imperial Black Ops Technician @ #:

Dangitall…beat me to it. That’s the real bottom line if there ever was one.