Like a Viking

We love our adopted home, not just because it welcomed us with open arms, but because it is the kick-assiest, strongest motherfucker on the planet and not afraid to say so.

But our native stomping grounds still have this nation beat when it comes to marching and drilling. Which, in all fairness, probably has more to do with our Viking ancestors having had quite a bit more time to work on it. You see, when we march, we aren’t inviting anybody to dance, we’re inviting them to shit their pants and die. Much like the Scots will talk until the cows come home about their bagpipes, which were and are intended to strike terror into the hearts of their enemies and it works.

Our marches don’t have a beat you can dance to, but they do have a beat. As in “we’re going to beat you over the head with it until you’re dead, dead, dead. Then we’ll take a piss on your rotting corpses and rape your livestock. Like a Viking.”

We’ve previously put up marches by our Teuton cousins in Germany who really know how to punch out a march, but here’s an example of what Vikings do when they’re not busy raping nuns and making the enemy shit themselves.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9B3QjRMSCy0[/youtube]

You may not be able to dance to it, but you sure as fuck can march to it.

And as to drilling, here’s a snapshot of the Royal Danish Army doing what they do for fun, which is drilling to the point of ridiculousness because you have to do something when you’re not busy strangling Saracens with their own guts:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qudj0ZcxCg[/youtube]

Please note the sound at around 3:27. That is not a rifle shot. That is the sound of the entire unit slamming their boots together at the exact same nanosecond. Because anything less than that is unacceptable. Anything less is no better than a bunch of epileptic cats having sex on a tin roof, and if that sound of your unit’s heels clicking is NOT one sharply defined sound, then you’ll be doing it again. And again. And again. And again. Until the sun goes supernova if that’s how long it takes, but you’re not stopping until you get it right.

And you keep drilling it until you can do it in your sleep, awake, under water, standing on your head, under enemy fire and/or with Satan himself breathing sulfur in your face. Or you’re a fuckup.

And that’s what we do for FUN.

Don’t piss us off. Seriously. Just don’t.

Thatisall.

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LC Gregory
LC Gregory
August 29, 2012 06:39

O My Emperor,

1. FIRST!!

2. Baby Jesus is smiling this morning.

http://www.wokv.com/news/news/local/customer-shoots-robber-dead/nRLjK/

Is this guy one of yours? Because, seriously, don’t piss HIM off either. :em01:

Mark12A
Mark12A
August 29, 2012 08:36

To misquote Gunny in FMJ, “Jesus loves concealed carry holders because they send so many fresh souls to him.”

LC Jackboot IC/A
Admin
LC Jackboot IC/A
August 29, 2012 12:24

Curiously, I really enjoyed that part of my military training. Close order drill is one helluva lot harder than it looks when you do it right. These guy do it A-Fucking #1 right.

Thank you my liege, nothing better than some martial music and video to get the heart pumping this morning.

LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E.
Admin
LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E.
August 29, 2012 14:10

Hi its me wallnut I love you miss you. how are the boys?we love and miss you guys so much. I hope we can come back soon.

LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E.
Admin
LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E.
August 29, 2012 14:11

emporor it is wallnut again I for got to write to you :em05: :em01: I am also :em02:

LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard
LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard
August 29, 2012 14:38

Mark, I don’t think too many of the poor misunderstood goblins that concealed carry holders dispatch manage to wend their way in Jesus’ direction.

Mark12A
Mark12A
August 29, 2012 15:41

They must, since Gunny sayeth so.

Blasphemer!

LC BU1 IMotBP
LC BU1 IMotBP
August 29, 2012 22:04

That WAS a gun shot at 3:27… or perhaps, more correctly, gun shots… As every single one of them squeezed one round into the air at the EXACT same time… which, if you ask me, is even more impressive than the boot heels all coming together at the same time.

redc1c4
redc1c4
August 30, 2012 00:09

drill and ceremony… what a military force spends it’s time on when it doesn’t have a war to fight… other than basic formations for accountability, it’s useless lifer bullshit. better to be out in the field training, or on the range shooting or in the motor pool learning and maintaining your vehicles than pissing the day away trying to make… Read more »

Sir Fresh Sign
Sir Fresh Sign
August 30, 2012 00:18

i remember seeing the changing of the guard in that plaza/square when i visited several years ago.. i also remember being mostly concerned with getting the SAS Hotel’s internet service working so i could post to the Rott and report of my presence in the Emperor’s homeland.. To this day, one of the two top restaurants i’ve been to on… Read more »

LC LOBO
LC LOBO
August 30, 2012 00:58

redc1c4 says: drill and ceremony… what a military force spends it’s time on when it doesn’t have a war to fight… other than basic formations for accountability, it’s useless lifer bullshit. better to be out in the field training, or on the range shooting or in the motor pool learning and maintaining your vehicles than pissing the day away trying… Read more »

Sir Fresh Sign
Sir Fresh Sign
August 30, 2012 01:05
LC Xystus
LC Xystus
August 30, 2012 03:49

Until the sun goes supernova if that’s how long it takes, but you’re not stopping until you get it right.

It’s more likely you’d die. The sun doesn’t have what it takes to ‘splode.

LC Roguetek
LC Roguetek
August 30, 2012 12:00

Meh. it’s very pretty, but -meh- Send em into the woods for six months, with what they’ve got in their pockets on a given day, and send me the ones that survive. ( I -gained- weight in survival school. The instructors took it as a personal affront…) Me and mine can’t march, can’t drill, and probably look like a sorry-ass… Read more »

kepiblanc
kepiblanc
August 30, 2012 13:50

#12 Sir Fresh Sign: Sorry to disapppoint you, but the video in question is not from Copenhagen. The recording is from the Moscow Tattoo (Kremlin Zorya) 2008, where The Royal Danish Guards appeared together with units from Great Britain, Germany, Switzerland, USA, France and Russia. – Your remark about Sct. Gertruds Kloster stands, though!